Sunday, 19 June 2011

Not all dads are jackoffs

I heard it's Fathers Day today.  I don't have a father so I wouldn't know. 

Well, I guess I do technically have one - I wasn't a test-tube baby - but he was/is a creepy asshole and I have nothing to do with him.  Jackoff. 

I never, throughout the first 17 years of my life, spent any energy whatsoever thinking about Fathers Day.  I never had to.  Until Hubby and I started dating, and I had to pay some attention - mostly so I could remind him to call his dad. 

But the fact is, I have some great dads in my life.  Even if they aren't mine.  Two dads in particular have become a pseudo dad-type-figures to me. 

For starters, Pops-in-law is adorable.  He's easygoing and goofy and genuine. 

Once we got a postcard from Ma-in-law when they were on vacation.  She said the flight attendant tried to give Pops a little warm towel and he thought it was an appetizer and tried to eat it.  Best. Postcard. Ever. 

He doesn't know how to put his contacts into his cell, so he carries around a list of phone numbers in his wallet. 

He taught Hubby how to play guitar - starting with Hotel California, which we all sing nearly every time we're there. 



He washes my car.  Voluntarily.  And not even because I'm such a pig, but simply because he wants to.

He loves to play games.  Cribbage, Backgammon, or Scrabble.  And he loves a good crossword.  AND he lets me help him with it. 


My other favourite dad (in no particular order, of course) is my mom's partner, Quasi-Stepdad, as he is affectionately known.  He's another good guy to have in your corner.

He has three great kids of his own, but plenty of room for Hubby and I too.  He says if he won the lottery, he's share his winnings with us.  I'd better start buying him some tickets.

He shares our love of music, and jams with Hubby at every opportunity.  He's the biggest Beatles fan in Canada, and he even sang "I Will" at our wedding.  Expertly.



He gets all my stupid Seinfeld and Simpsons references and appreciates my love of making fun of others. 

He sees all the similarities between Mom and I, and he doesn't even hold it against me.  In fact, I think he likes that I understand better than anyone how crazy she is.  Because so am I. 


These two dads are some of the best out there.  And I'm glad I get to share them. 

Happy fathers Day to all the dads out there. 

Except Mine.  Mine's a jackoff. 

_

6 comments:

  1. Sorry about your dad but it's comforting to know you have substitute dads. Sometimes the families we make are better than the ones we're born with.

    I've been a Beatlemaniac since the Beatles appeared on Ed Sullivan the first time but I've NEVER heard that lovely song. Where has it been hiding all my life?

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  2. I'm so glad you have other "dads' to make up for your jackoff one. I'd add my sperm donor/bio dad to the list of jackoffs. Actually he's more of a dick pickle. Unless jackoffs are worse, then I pick that one. xx

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  3. Sharyn - I Will is my fav! It's onthe White Album. Quasi-stepdad's daughter is even named after a Beatles song!

    Elle - Jackoffs are way worse! I use Dick Pickle like pest, or dummy. I use Jackoff for a real effing douchebag. ;)

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  4. I never knew mine because he's a total jackoff too! Ohhhh, what if they're the same guy? Creepy!

    Anyhoo, glad you have some "replacements." I need some of those. Maybe I'll go to the Home Depot today and shop around.

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  5. Both of these men sound amazing and I'm glad you have them in your life. I agree with Sharyn... sometimes the families we make are better than the ones we are born into.

    I hope Pops-in-law and Quasi-Stepdad both had a wonderful Father's Day!

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  6. Flannery - Ew! Yes! Home depot is a good place to start. Just avoid dive bars. Try a business district if you want to find a rich one.

    jacqui - For sure. If only I could grow my own dad just the way I want - that would be AWESOME. :)

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