Monday, 4 April 2011

Like Kevin Bacon. But worse.

One of my most/least favourite things about Hometown has always been that everyone knows everyone. 

Not necessarily in a weird incestuous sense (because it's not that small), but more in the charming/annoying I-know-where-you-live sense.  

You see, in Hometown, there a maximum of two degrees of separation between everyone.  Like Kevin Bacon.  But worse. 

For example, at our wedding, it turned out that a friend of my family had been battling a long-term feud with a friend of Hubby's family.  Neither side knew to expect the enemy at our humble ceremony, and they seemed to flee in opposite directions upon laying eyes on each other.  

To make matters worse, Hubby and I had seated them all at. the. same. table.  Yeah.  Luckily it worked out, thanks to my mother who quickly repositioned chairs and tables. 

So, when Hubby and I were in Hometown on Friday for Mom's retirement party, you'd think we wouldn't be surprised when the party host ended up being the wife of pa-in-law's friend. 

Or when a girl from Mom's office recognized Hubby from the Havelock Country Jamboree that took place four years ago. 

Or, when... ok - try to follow along...  

...when, ma-in-la's former colleague (who was also my former colleague from a different job) is one of my mom's current colleagues.  And that this same tri-colleague is also marrying the brother of Hubby's former coworkerAnd that this former coworker of Hubby's was at one point living in his girlfriend's parents' house, two doors down from ma and pa-in law

Wait.  It gets better.

Before the retirement party, I emailed the invitation to a guy mom worked with 20 years ago.  Now, this guy from 20 years ago is also the father of my friend from high school.  (And imagine our surprise a few years ago when Hubby's best Hometown client turned out to be the ex-wife of the guy from 20 years ago - and, of course, my friend's mother.) 

Wait for it. 

I'm about to tie it all together. 

So remember the tri-colleague who is marrying Hubby's former coworker's brother?  Well, this former coworker (who lived two doors down from ma and pa-in-law in his girlfriend's parents' house) also went to our high school.  And, get this, he was really good friends with the daughter of the guy from 20 years ago

AND, the girlfriend that Hubby's former coworker was living with has a brother who was actually good friends with Hubby's own little brother. 

AND, finally, (stay with me) Hubby's former coworker's girlfriend's brother once worked with Hubby - at the house of Hubby's best Hometown client (the ex-wife of the guy from 20 years ago). 

And THAT, my friends, is how you play One Degree of Hometown.  



  1. Don’t forget the part where Hubby’s former coworker’s father was in class in high school with ma-in-law.

    And twenty-some years later, ma-in-law dropped Hubby’s *other* little brother off at his friend’s house, only to find out that the friend was one of the four sons of Hubby’s former coworker’s father, who had recently bought the house from a high school friend of ma-in-law’s father, which friend was also the grandmother of Hubby’s first little brother’s best friend from grade 7, and in which house ma-in-law had just a few years before visited with the grandmother while delivering Hubby’s first little brother to hang with said best friend who was sleeping over at his grandmother’s.

    AND, a few years ago, ma and pa-in-law attended a house party in Hometown, hosted by pa-in-law’s coworker and long time friend, and one of the party guests was the same father of Hubby’s former coworker, who happened to be close friends with the host, which is when ma-in-law found out about the fact that Hubby’s former coworker was living with his girlfriend’s parents two doors down from ma and pa-in-law, and that one of the coworker’s three brothers was engaged to the tri-colleague.

  2. Me too! But trust me, it does all add up. Not that I'm proud of that...

  3. You have a new follower just from this. I have never been so confused in my life, but suddenly glad I live in big city Canada.

  4. Thanks L.A.C.E.! Glad I succeeded in confusing you. I am happy I left Hometown for the Comparatively Bigger City.

  5. I'm pretty sure my brain is now tangled to the point that there are knots in it. I guess you can't ever talk about anyone behind their back, huh?