Well, good on ya, because it's tricky making the bed under those circumstances. Trust me.
First of all, you have to pick all the matching pillowcases of the right sizes and shapes. Then you have to struggle with that damn fitted sheet, which means you may or may not end up stumbling and falling face-first into the mattress. Repeatedly. Probably.
Also? All those duvet cover buttons are fucking difficult.
So what led to this disaster, you might be wondering?
Hubby's buddy, known around here as Larry (as in: Larry, Hubby, and Moe), came for a visit with his adorable and hilarious - and very wine-generous - girlfriend. Let's call her Shemp.
Shemp brought the red wine, and then when that ran out, Hubby miraculously found a couple more bottles. Before we knew it: I was winning at Taboo; Hubby was throwing Taboo cards across the room; Shemp was suggesting we play Apples to Apples instead; Hubby was spilling red wine on the carpet; Shemp was grinding a salt shaker all over the stain; Larry was showing off the speckled reddish purple spots on his socks; Shemp was vacuuming up the salt; and I was eating stuffed crust pizza.
And then, THEN, is when things took a turn for the better. Because that's when, my dear friends, my favourite activity of all time took place.
Late night living room dance party, y'all.
Which if you've ever read my bio, you know is truly the best thing that could ever happen.
Now. You'd think that all that jumping and hopping and singing and running and moon-walking and sock-sliding would somehow reduce the effects of the red wine... but I think it has the opposite effect. Like, somehow, it gets your blood pumping rapidly so all the alcohol goes coursing through your veins even faster than it normally would. Or something.
So by the time 2:30 came around, and the last song had been played (Beyoncé, If I Were a Boy - DUH), finding the bed unmade was a matter worth shouting and complaining about. I nearly stole Larry and Shemp's guest bed.
That said, it's been a while since I've laughed so hard at Hubby, so at least there's that.