Monday, 11 April 2011

I effing hate AC/DC

You have never heard thunder like we heard last night. 

Unless you live near here.  Then maybe you have. 

You'd think the Zombie Apocalypse was upon us.  Because only something like the Zombie Apocalypse could bring rolling, booming, crashing... um, thunderous thunder like that.

It started around 2am. 

Mother Nature:  FLASH!  GRUMBLE... RUMBLE... CRASH!

And then continued striking on semi-regular intervals every hour until about 6am. 

The perfect time for Mother Earth to be as loud as all-get-out

NOT.

Don't underestimate me, either.  I'm not exaggerating.  These were the brightest, scariest blasts of lightening known to humanity, followed by thunder that sent people across three provinces (and probably a few states) quivering under the covers and wishing they had one of those plastic mattress liners.  

I guess I would have been more scared had I not been so effing pissed off.  F-ck.  What a disruption.  A person can't sleep through that.  I don't care how many beers you drank to wash down your sleeping pills. 

And you especially can't sleep through it when it causes your neighbour's house alarm to screech like an effing tornado/Apocalypse siren after every effing earth-shattering lightening flash and thunder crack.  

Mother Nature:  FLASH!  GRUMBLE... RUMBLE... CRASH! 
Neighbour's House:  BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

And you really can't sleep when your fat (but normally very brave) cat Patches sits out in the hallway on the stairs crying as if some crazy person/zombie is slowly eating her brain. 

Mother Nature:  FLASH!  GRUMBLE... RUMBLE... CRASH! 
Neighbour's House:  BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! 
Patches: Meeeeoooooww...  Meeeeoooowwwwwwww...

And then, to make matters worse, you hold Patches under the covers in an attempt to assure her that, you know, death is not necessarily imminent, but then she's even more scared because she doesn't really know any better, and because this clearly isn't in her "safe spot" on the stairs, and because you are apparently the last person to be trusted, so she basically claws (or in this case, paws) your face off in the process of frantically escaping your heartfelt love-grip.

Mother Nature:  FLASH!  GRUMBLE... RUMBLE... CRASH! 
Neighbour's House:  BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Patches:  
Meeeeoooooww...
Patches again:  Rrrrriiiiaaaaahhhhoooww...

Don't worry.  I'd still prefer a warm rain (however terrifying) over an effing blizzard any day. 

And I love my cat. 

And I'm especially glad I don't have a real baby for which I am required to hold under the covers as a form of protection (and sensory deprivation) from the Zombie Apocalypse taking place outside. 

Patches, forgive me for this somewhat unflattering photo.  No judgement. 
_

13 comments:

  1. Duuuuude. Patches looks pissed. I'd be afraid of HER, not the Zombie Apocalypse... just sayin'.

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  2. Oh, no, she's just tryin to *look* tough. (And she *may* be unhappy that I rolled her onto her back.) Zombies are way scarier!
    lol :)

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  3. It sounds like a night from hell. Your neighbor couldn't at least turn the damn alarm off? That would've driven me insane on top of everything else that was going on.

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  4. My dog has recently become frightened of storms. Luckily he's a smallish Jack Russell, or I would not be able to cope with his uncontrollable shivering, salivating, and sitting on my head. Very annoying, especially since I could sleep through any storm. But not with a dog pawing my face yelling, "Wake up! The end of the world is here!" Jeez. What does he expect me to do about that?

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  5. I know! I don't think they even *use* the alarm. I think it was just throwing a hissy fit every time lightening struck. Bizarre.

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  6. @handflapper - Perhaps he expects you to simply acknowledge the fact that you're all going to die - you know, to validate his feelings or something. He's probably just very in touch with his sensitive side. :)

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  7. My dog pretends to be afraid of thunderstorms now too. I think she only does it for the drugs though.

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  8. Jeez...what did you do to anger Thor AND Zeus at the same time?

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  9. It's a mystery. Probably begged for summer too much - careful what one wishes for, I guess.

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  10. When I lived in one of my many apartments many moons ago, I had a neighbour whose boyfriend had a car alarm that went off every time it thundered. I was tempted to take a baseball bat to it. Only I didn't have one. So I had to suffer through a night of thunder and car alarms.

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  11. I wish I could have taken a baseball bat to my neighbours' house.

    Also, next time you find yourself without a bat, choose a replacement. A frying pan, or a vacuum pole, or a lamp or something.

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  12. Okay, this seriously has given me a major case of much-needed lol giggles.

    THat shit is awesome. I totally understand the cat thing, plus the noise, plus the alarm sound.

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh joy. The love of nature and pets.
    Thanks for the laugh!

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