Monday, 12 March 2012

I'm a mess. A mess with a dirty mind.

I don't like busy weekends.  I much prefer to sit on my ass with my kickass iPhone and blame my boredom on the illusion that I have nothing interesting to do. 

This weekend, however, I booked myself solid.  For two reasons: 1) I do kinda hate being bored; and, 2) I have to get out into the world, diversify, have something other than work/twitter to look forward to. 

Friday night I went for drinks with coworkers.  My friend / former boss didn't stop me when I tried forced me to guzzle my beer, so it's fair to say I was a little giddy during the walk back to the bus station. 

Imagine my delight when we stopped at the beer store and I. GOT. CARDED. 

Carded, people.  Like, as if I was 18 or something. 

And then I laughed hysterically like a serial killer off her Ritalin for at least five minutes, thoroughly humiliating myself and my friend / former boss. 

I continued to giggle all the way to the bus stop. "Oh, Hubby will be so glad I bought him Guinness!"  And then I looked at my friend, and then into my bag, and then at my friend, and then into my bag...

Me: "Fuck."
Him: "Fuck.  I'll wait here.  You run!"

Dammit.  I had to run all the way back to that damn beer store to pick up the beer I was so blatantly gleeful about that I then FORGOT ON THE COUNTER. 

And then I ran back. 

And then I couldn't breathe for 20+ minutes. 

The rest of the weekend was in some ways an improvement from there. 

Saturday I waited 32 obnoxious minutes for my optometrist, who was EATING LUNCH.

But then I had dinner with my amazing friend LB and played with her two adorable babies.  I also cuddled her drooling cat, which is always a highlight for me.  But then our outing somehow caused the end of the world because her babies got fevers which can only be blamed on me. 

Sunday required a drive out of town for my best friend.  I'm her MAID (don't ever say matron) of HONOUR (don't ever say disgrace) and we went to a bridal show and lunch.  It was super fun and I even got Christmas/birthday gifts INCLUDING wine and peanut M&Ms, so there.  

Sunday night I studied for my French test which I later decided to delay until Thursday because I'm stupid.  Also, I'm unproductive because I spend way too much time laughing at crap like this:


Only you, my dear readers, will not judge me for my childishness here.
 

24 comments:

  1. I giggled too when I read that sentence.

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    1. Giggled?! I laughed for like 15 minutes. And tweeted it. And posted it here. Please don't judge.

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    2. oh my god I'm still laughing

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  2. Busy weekend! I can't remember the last time I was seriously carded at the liquor store/bar so now I has a sad :(

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    1. No, no sads. They just know you there! ;)

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  3. Yeah, right. Like THAT will ever happen. He will finish before I've even gotten started.

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    1. I know. That's the one fault in that sentence.

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  4. Bahahahaha. Hi-larious. Glad you had a good weekend, my dear. Bonne chance avec l'examen jeudi!

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  5. Several things about this made me smile and quietly giggle, (the Husbfriend & manbaby are sleeping)
    1: You got Carded! and it made you laugh hysterically, as well it should because being carded at any age is freaking fantastic.
    2: You got to play with cute babies which in my opinion is always a plus and umm..you cuddled with a drooling cat..also a plus? Ha!
    And 3: You spell is maid of HONOUR!!!!! I have always spelled it like that and people here think I'm weird :-/ I too spell NEIGHBOUR. Maybe I should move a bit more north??

    Hope your next weekend is full of fun and adventure!! :)

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    1. You are so cute.

      Drooling cats are underrated. This cat was totally hugging me around the neck and drooling on my shoulder. I needed a receiving blanket.

      Of course I spell it correctly! ColoUr is another good example.

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  6. Ha, that's hilarious!

    And, I'm a total moron because I was actually about to google translate that french sentence until I realize you'd written it in english.

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    1. Ha! Yes, I should have higlighted it or something.

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  7. So funny! I think I need to take up French.

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    1. It's an excellent way to call people names without them knowing it.

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  8. glad you had an awesome weekend... we all need those every now and then.

    That is definitely some entertaining shit .. i love French... my name means "I like" in french.... which might mean I'm a slut... but I'm ok with that.

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    1. Oh, that's right. I never thought of the name Jaime like "J'aime". Nice!

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  9. Bwuahahahahahahaha!
    And you'll have to give me pointers on the whole Maid of Honour thing... my sister asked me to be hers and I feel very clueless (also doesn't help that she's overseas).

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    1. Ha! I've never done it before either! But I had two awesome maids of honour and what I learned from them: just do everything the bride wants, think ahead, buy her lots of gifts, and put your creative thinking cap on. :)

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  10. 'Like a serial killer off her Ritalin'...so funny! Congratulations on being carded!

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