FACT: I. Am. Awesome.
Honestly. I make some seriously excellent, well-informed, and very intelligent choices.
I was writing my very heartfelt blog post Sunday night. When I finished, I was listening to my lovely song, and I set the laptop down on the coffee table - where it basically lives most of the time.
Later, when Hubby and I were heading off to bed, I began to close the laptop and snapped my hand back in utter dismay. The effer BURNED me. The hell?!
I looked down to find that I had left the friggin pisser sitting too close to my lovely purple Ikea candle, and I had therefore effectively melted the damn thing.
Luckily it was just the plastic casing around the screen, and just in one spot. I think the monitor is ok, and everything else functions properly – so far – but now I’m forced to remind myself of my own fucking idiocy every time I use it. Not to mention that Hubby now insists on buying is own laptop. The shitty one can be mine, he says.
It was shitty before, but now with the giant melted hole in the back, it's basically a stupid piece of junk. Its outsides match its insides.
Actually, come to think of it, maybe it looks kinda badass – like maybe I used it to shield myself from a bullet. OR A FLAMETHROWER. I could definitely make up a pretty wicked story about a flamethrower.
By the grace of who knows what, Hubby wasn’t nearly as upset as I would’ve been had the stupidity been reversed. He basically just shrugged and declared how asinine I am.
“You’re a moron.”