Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Some punk chick attacked me with a flamethrower!

FACT:  I. Am. Awesome.

Honestly. I make some seriously excellent, well-informed, and very intelligent choices.

I was writing my very heartfelt blog post Sunday night. When I finished, I was listening to my lovely song, and I set the laptop down on the coffee table - where it basically lives most of the time.

Later, when Hubby and I were heading off to bed, I began to close the laptop and snapped my hand back in utter dismay. The effer BURNED me. The hell?!

I looked down to find that I had left the friggin pisser sitting too close to my lovely purple Ikea candle, and I had therefore effectively melted the damn thing.

AWESOME.

Luckily it was just the plastic casing around the screen, and just in one spot. I think the monitor is ok, and everything else functions properly – so far – but now I’m forced to remind myself of my own fucking idiocy every time I use it. Not to mention that Hubby now insists on buying is own laptop. The shitty one can be mine, he says.

It was shitty before, but now with the giant melted hole in the back, it's basically a stupid piece of junk. Its outsides match its insides.

Actually, come to think of it, maybe it looks kinda badass – like maybe I used it to shield myself from a bullet. OR A FLAMETHROWER. I could definitely make up a pretty wicked story about a flamethrower.

By the grace of who knows what, Hubby wasn’t nearly as upset as I would’ve been had the stupidity been reversed. He basically just shrugged and declared how asinine I am.

“You’re a moron.”

Um, yeah.

14 comments:

  1. um NO, YOU ARE NOT A MORON. Hubby take that back. MARIANNA IS AWESOME.

    I yell when I am passionate.

    As do you. Don't lie.

    PS: you should get the new laptop for being awesome

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I YELL WHEN I AM PASSIONATE TOO. ALL THE TIME. I ANNOY MY COWORKERS! FUCKERS!

      Yes, I should get a new laptop. Fu, Hubby.

      Delete
  2. I agree with Carmen. Marianna is awesome. And she makes a great Halloween costume.

    I'm sorry some punk chick attacked you with a flamethrower and burned your laptop. (That actually does make a cool story.) I hope you get the new one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone agrees with Carmen. Carmen is smart! I have to also agree. I am not a moron, I am a flamethrowing superhero.

      Delete
  3. Within 1 month of owning my new laptop, I spilled an entire mug of hot coffee all over the thing, absolutely ruining the track-pad-mouse-thingy. I now have to use an external mouse which kind of negates the point of having a laptop. Alas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OH no! I told Hubby this and he seemed to have sympathy for you. Why no sympathy for me, Hubby!?

      Delete
  4. Okay, I totally agree with Carmen . . . You ROCK. It is totally the fault of the manufacturer who did not properly design the stupid laptop to withstand exposure to direct heat and flame. How is that in any way your fault?! See, it is the manufucturer / desiger who is the moron!
    Jenn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is so true. SHouldn't everything be resistent to heat and flame these days, in the era of the impending Apocolypse?!

      Delete
  5. I always find that I'm a lot more upset about things when they happen to the hubs than he is when I do them. You'd think I'd learn to mellow out but nah.

    Also, I could totally feel the love when he stated 'You're a moron'.

    ReplyDelete
  6. that would have caused me to have a mental breakdown.... I get very overly upset whenever I do something stupid... and I'm actually surprised I haven't done something to my electronic devices I love so much.

    I'm with Carmen... being awesome deserves a new laptop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I WAS NOT STUPID. Speak for yourself, there chickie.

      ;)

      Delete
  7. I think this blog post and the subsequent comments CLEARLY shows that Marianna and myself are awesome and thus superior to dear hubby.

    It's the law of science. And awesomeability. He can't argue any of this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't imagine he would ever even *attempt* to argue this.

      Delete