Tuesday, 6 March 2012

When in doubt, SHOW BOOB.

Four things made me smile today.  I have enumerated them here for your interest. 

ONE. 

Miss Sarcasm and I decided that if that Santorum ass bucket were to win the election, she would move up here to be my neighboUr.  On the other hand, if Obama wins, I will be moving down there.  But then we decided that she and I would just combine and rule the two nations ourselves.  The Stefanna Cheesedom of Canmerica.  With a national dish of poutine and Beyonce (chicken, not singer) on our coins.  And an "anti douche, anti idiot" statement in our citizenship pledge. 


Knock knock, motherfucker

TWO.

Hubby called me at work to report a suspicious vehicle on our street.  It was sitting parked with the engine running for several hours.  When an equally suspicious van approached, Hubby became particularly concerned.  And so, naturally, he called to ask me if alerting the police was overkill.  Because he's reasonable like that.  As much as I wanted to avoid a repeat of last time, I do hate weirdos.  "Hell, call the cops! Weirdos!"  Although it turned out to be nothing, I'm glad Hubby is monitoring the neighbourhood. 


THREE.

Miss Sarcasm told me to "show boob." Wait, what?  Ok, I have to do a presentation for a bunch of tenth graders tomorrow.  I'm supposed to talk about my boring career.  BORING. Unleeesssss I show boob.  Boob showing is always the highlight of any presentation.  Fact.   


FOUR.

Hubby texted me to ask if I wanted chicken alfredo for dinner.  This was good for two reasons:  first, I was hungry and had no intention of making any food; and, second, I was upstairs in the bedroom.  In other words, he offered to make me dinner, AND my kickass iPhone made it possible for me to accept said offer instantaneously.  WIN/WIN.  As an additional bonus, this was the best text conversation we've had in a while...



31 comments:

  1. Your text conversations with your hubby are way better than the ones I have with my hubby.
    "On way home?"
    "Yeah."
    "K."
    Also, does boob actually have anything to do with your job? Not that I'm against any gratuitous boob flashing. Just curious.

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    1. Nope, no boob-related job for me. I think my office colleagues would wonder why i was topless at work...

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  2. No career is boring that involves a boob flash to tenth graders...you could also let them borrow your underpants for 10 minutes

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    1. I can't believe I have my panties to a geek.

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    2. Ha!! Borrow my underpants?! lol

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  3. Well, that'll grab the straight guys and the queer / questionning girls, but what have you got for the straight girls and q/q guys? You sould also wear kick-ass shoes. Good luck! v (I was too lazy to sign into my account before commenting)

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    1. It's true. I didn't consider the entire demographic.

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  4. I totally support your "anti douche, anti idiot" statement. That oughta eliminate about 90% of the population allowing more bacon, coffee and chocolate for me.

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    1. Yes, this is the plan. Most people will have ot move away leaving nothing but female bloggers.

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  5. Uh, whoops. Never mind. I am prone to hysterics.

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  6. I just LOVE the title of this blog..... I think along with "I'm awesome" .. I'm going to make "show boob" my motto.

    thanks for that.

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    1. I saw "I'm awesome" too! I have a whole category of posts. Funny. You're welcome, as always my dear.

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  7. ALWAYS SHOW BOOB IF THEY'RE YOUNG AND PERKY.

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  8. I would eat anything my husband made. BUt then I'd have to find out what he did wrong. Thats usually the only time he cooks--to make up for being an ass of some kind......

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    1. Yes, mine too. When he's feeling guilty that I always do it.

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  9. I think Stefanna Cheesedom of Canmerica would be an awesome country and I better be a part of it.

    Also? Your boobs ARE young and perky, so I say give 'er.

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    1. YOU WILL BE THE VERY FIRST CITIZEN.

      Done.

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  10. IF you and Sarcasm ever establish you're own country I want to become a citizen! What would the citizenship test/course/thing look like?

    10th grade... that's like 16 year olds... hmmmm... yeah a little boob never hurt. lol They may even talk about you for 2 whole days before something new takes precedence in their little meme (mem? I know the word, just not how to spell it. Meem like "Nyan cat" and "took an arrow to the knee") driven lives.

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    1. It would be a table of various cheeses, each of which you would have to correctly identify.

      Boob can rarely hurt. I think they liked me well enough...

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  11. Poutine? I'm in. I always see it featured on the Food Network and think "damn, I need that in my life!" But there is no poutine to be found in my beck of the woods :( <--- this is me with no poutine

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    1. Yes. Yes you do. You'll have to make it yourself! It takes practice though...

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  12. Wow! This entire post and comments have totally made my crap-tastic day a ton better :) You are all freaking awesome and rock my world!! Bring on the boobs and beyonce chicken.

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    1. I smiled so big when I read this that HUbby asked what my problem was. Thanks :)

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  13. do you think that "show boob" is still a good plan if they're long and old? i guess it might not work in a sexy capacity, but it would surely wake them up and give them something to talk about for years to come.

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    1. Exactly. Show boob never fails. In my experience anyway...

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  14. So, how'd the presentation go? Was there boob involved? It would probably prevent you from ever having to give speeches about your job to high schoolers ever again, if that's your goal.

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    1. It went ok, I think. The fortune cookies I brought were a hit. And I was apparently better than the pro-gun politician that followed, so there's that.

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