Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Proof positive that mornings are assholes

Hubby bought a car.  He bought a car and he did so even though I was supposed to be the one getting the new car. He beat me to it and I'm going to kick his ass. 

As much as he loves his pickup truck, his new job doesn't really require it, and he's actually been driving more (if that's possible).  I'm not sure if you've heard, but gas is a little pricy. 

[Sidebar:  When we were in New Orleans, gas was $3.30 per gallon.  I want to point out that up here in Canada, we pay $1.25 per litre.  My calulation reveals that we pay 32 cents MORE per litre than Americans do! And there are almost four litres in a gallon! Which means we pay, like, $4.50 a gallon!  $4.50! WTF you guys?]

So gas is expensive.  And Hubby had to make a tough decision to let go of his precious pickup and buy a car. 

Oh, pooooooooor Hubby. 

What's so bad about Hubby buying a new car, you ask?  Of course the problem is that it's an inconvenience to me.  I had to help him drive it home, seeing as he can't really drive two vehicles at one time - especially if he's texting. 

Well, I totally effed up the whole car-switching plan (two people, three cars, and asshole mornings that make it difficult for me to take the bus).  So... the shit-show ended with me leaving my car parked at the office last night. 

This morning I was supposed to take the bus to work and then drive my car home. 

But as I may have mentioned previously: mornings are ASSHOLES. 

I had a tricky time getting up today, but even when I did manage to get my ass out of bed everything still went to shit. 

First Tuxedo wouldn't get off my neck.  Which is ok, becasue he is the cutest thing in Canada, but still. 

This is real.
Then I had outfit issues. 

Then I had to let the neighbour's dog out, but I didn't have the key because I left it in my car (which was, of course, still at the office). 

So I struggled through the neighbour's garage and then struggled to get Doggie outside. 

By then I was late for the bus.  But I was determined. 

I drove half-way to the mall bus station (in Hubby's truck) before I realized that I wasn't wearing my glasses and I couldn't see a fucking thing. 

So I TURNED AROUND and drove home. 

Then I spent 10 minutes searching for my goddam glasses. WHICH I FOUND IN MY LAUNDRY HAMPER.  No, I don't have a clue. 

Then I decided to change my jacket to a warmer one. 

And of course forgot my phone in the pocket. 

By this time I was way too late for the bus, so I drove to work - in Hubby's truck... WHICH REQUIRED GAS - and parked his truck RIGHT NEXT TO MY CAR at the office.  So we have three cars, and two of them were parked in my office parking lot. 

The same office parking lot that has some remarkably passive aggressive parkers who leave angry notes on windshields.  Including this one that I saw on someone's window the other day.

Luckily this one wasn't on my windshield, but I still took a picture of it.

So I left my car at the office again tonight, and I'll attempt the whole damn thing once more tomorrow. 




  1. frigging CUTE is the cat snuggle pic? I wanna crawl all up in there and snuggle too!

  2. Next time this happens I will call in sick for you. Actually, I am surprised you made it through all that without even rewarding yourself to a breakfast and several Mimosas!

  3. You know how I always try to find silver linings? You've stumped me! This sucks balls. Period. If you need help sorting this (I could drive one vehicle home and get a ride back from you?), let me know. Also, these note ninjas are rediculous. Who has time for this sh#t? Wankers.

  4. you need a day off. and to get rid of a car. i miss have a car per person. you think having 3 is challenging, try only having one!

  5. What a crappy morning! I hope the rest of your day went reasonably well. There's nothing worse than an all-day-long bad morning.

  6. This is when you hide the keys to Hubby's new car, so HE has to drive the truck, and then you get the sweet ride to work.

    I'm sorry you had such a shitty morning, although I have to admit I laughed at you finding your glasses in the laundry. I constantly lose my glasses, although mine tend to end up under my bed. Or in my sock drawer. No idea how they get either of those places. *shrug*

  7. The fact that you even went in to work after all that should earn you the right to park anywhere the hell you want next time.

    I once fell asleep with my glasses on and woke up in the morning thinking my vision had been magically restored during the night.

  8. Mornings are such assholes. This morning not 3 minutes after climbing out of bed, I fell down the stairs. While Winston stood at the bottom and watched. When I got to work I realized I had cut my hand. I'm pretty sure this happened post fall as i surely would've noticed it when I showered otherwise. Right?

    So for lunch, I'm having cheese fries. Because I need the pick me up.

  9. Wow, that's one crappy morning. Hopefully tomorrows try will be better *fingers crossed*.

    I left the house without my glasses this morning too & had to go back for them. Stupid blind eyes!

  10. your hubby is so selfish. You're perfect :) (Even though your glasses were in the hamper. That one's weird)

  11. Yeah, the glasses in the hamper thing is both random and weird... sorry for you crappy day on a stick. I wish you a better one for tomorrow.

    Miss you,

  12. S - Yes! Come snuggle!

    Middlechild - oh my, I need to think more like you. MIMOSAS!

    v - You're so thoughtful. And yes... WANKERS.

    Sherilin - Yes, I SO need a day off. Only one would drive us crazy. Our marriage would not survive it. :)

    Ang - Well, it didn't really get better, but it didn't get worse. So that's something, right?

    Mel - Yes, I totally hate driving the stupid truck. Ha! Yeah, the glasses thing was friggin WEIRD.

  13. Wow! I got stressed out just reading about it, poor thing! I find it very hard to get out of bed when it's cold, so I'm having morning issues myself lately.

    What's up with all the fake parking police where you work?

  14. irritable - Ha! Yes! I should park anywhere in goddam Canada if I want. Life is so unfair.

    Rachel - Oh no! Are you ok?! That's brutal. You win. Feel better soon. Cheese fries are definitely the key.

    Lin - Isn;t it SO annoying?! Ahrg! And then I can't find the damn things, and even if I knew where to look I CAN'T SEE THEM. Frig.

    Carm - lol! Yes, I am perfect.

    L - thanks doll. I don't get the hamper thing either!

  15. jac - I'm sorry I stressed you out. I should have put a "read at your own risk" warning at the top. Cold?! You think its COLD there?! Stupid a-holes.

  16. But you DID get out of bed, and you DID keep on going, and I am so proud of you because that's way more than I have done in a week.

  17. Did you get the car keys out of your car to let the neighbors dog out? I did a similar thing and our neighbors dog almost ate me as I was trying to throw food at him. Yeah, that's still not funny.

    You have way more ambition than I do. I would have given up at the not being able to see part. I bow down to your holiness.

  18. I can't believe you even got out of bed with all the snuggling going on. I'd call in comfortable.

  19. handflapper - Sometimes I have no idea where I find the strength. Thanks doll.

    Lizbeth - sorry, that sounds a little funny to me. ;)

    Mamamash - call in comfortable. I may actually do that sometime.

  20. ugh. . . there's SOOOOoooo much math in those first few paragraphs. Did you convert the dollars from Canadian to US? Because you didn't show your work. -5. B+.

  21. That pic of you with your cats put a smile on my face which is something I *really* needed after these past couple of weeks. :)

    P.S. I've been so consumed with other things and had to take a temporary break from blog readin' (which really has been making me but I'm baaaaack.

    Yeah, that sounded creepy to me too. ;) xx

  22. Jim - Damn you! Show my work! NO!

    Elle - I like that pic too. :)