Sunday, 17 July 2011

I'm gonna be a polygamist

Friday was the best. day. ever.

I love Friday so much that I decided to marry it.  Even though Miss Jacqui pointed out that it's too late for a bachelorette party and that I might change my mind once Saturday or Sunday comes.  But I figure it's no big deal since I can just be a polygamist and marry as many days as I damn well please

At least Friday will always be my first.

Unless I can go back in time to marry my wedding day, because my wedding day really was the best. EVER. day. ever.  But is it even possible to go back in time to marry days from the past?  If someone figures out how, please let me know.  I'd be very interested.  I'd even host one giant joint wedding ceremony so y'all wouldn't have to make more than one trip.  But I'll still require more than one gift.  You can't come if you don't bring multiple gifts.

Do you know what's going on right now?  I think I lost myself.  Let's start over.

Friday was awesome!

Before this week, I'd been doing ok - going to work, seemingly doing my job...  But this week was a GIANT ASSHOLE and I fell back to bad mornings and anxiousness and inability to concentrate.

So I asked my therapist what the eff was up.  And, as it turns out, someone died.

Poppy died last week and it's been sad and worrisome, and apparently, according to my doc, troublesome to my Depression.  Imagine that.  The death of a loved one causing a set-back in the Depression recovery.  Huh.

So Friday I called in a vacation day, and Hubby and I ended up taking off to the new biggest and best water park in Canada.
Calypso Water Park

We hit up the wave pool, which, other than twisting up that stupid bra insert thingie in my bathing suit, was effing FUN.  We also flew down some piss-inducing vertical drops, (which made me think of this...)

Will you take us to Mt Splashmore?
Will you take us to Mt Splashmore?
Will you take us to Mt Splashmore?

(You should watch the first few minutes of the episode here. You will laugh.  Promise.)

... Then we coasted around an AWESOME lazy river with the strongest possible current, complete with all kinds of jungle paraphernalia - pirates included.

And THEN, then I almost died - thanks to the coolest friggin water slide known to humanity. I was forced to stand upright in a one-person coffin capsule. Then I heard a robot counting down from three. Then the goddam BOTTOM FELL OUT BENEATH ME and I dropped straight down before twisting in an UPSIDE-DOWN LOOP and exiting from the bottom stunned and stumbling.


I thought I might pee.  Or die.  And I definitely screamed bloody murder.  But I could not wait to do it again.  I'm proud of myself, and Hubby's proud too.  He was surprised I did it.  I said I was surprised too because "my chicken-shit mom basically ruined me."  Love you Mom!

I strongly recommend Friday to anyone.  Except don't be a marriage-wrecker.  That's just rude.



  1. Sounds amazing, you polygamist you! Except that last one...I'm proud of you for doing that. I love lazy rivers but I've never been on one with jungle stuff and pirates. I love pirates...especially Captain Jack Sparrow. Was he there?

    I will happily give you multiple gifts as you deserve them very much!

  2. fun! good for you and the hubs to take a day off work and have a great time!

  3. wow, i think i might do worse than pee myself on the ride you just described! i wonder how many people come out at the bottom with their bathing suits either missing or soiled...
    glad you had an awesome day! and now we know that waterparks beat depression.

  4. jacqui - I love Cap'n Jack too! And yes, the pirate there was copying him for sure. Also, I'll expect my gifts in mail. Thanks.

    Sarcasm - It *was* great. A good idea for you and the kiddies perhaps?

    Sherilin - Either missing or soiled - ha! Waterparks are GENIUS?

  5. ahahaha I read your heading and I was like why the heck would you wanna go and do that? Then I read the rest and it made much more sense. As for Friday. Why can't my Friday's be more like yours? My Friday's talk with Monday and I'm sure they are in some sort of conspiratorial plot against me.

  6. LACE - Not all my Fridays are like this. This one was special.

    Yandie - The Hip concert was AWESOME! But Hubby lost me in the crowd and I had to watch it by myself. Awesome? Yes. Loney? Yes.

  7. I loved that episode the simpsons, it was hilarious! Glad you had fun, sorry you almost died though. I might have felt the same way considering I almost barfed just reading your description of that slide...I totally would've chickened out. I blame my mom as well ;)

    The hubs & I will be taking a trip to a water park in two weeks, hopefully we'll have as much fun as you did.

  8. you and your hubby are hot. Just sayin'. As for water parks? I prefer a hot tub thankyourverymuch. No death defying acts by me, no sireee.

  9. Lin - Such a good episode! The slide was absurd. Have fun! Do everything! Don't be a chicken! Totally worth it.

    Carmen - I'm not big ont he hottub. They're never hot enough. Also, you're not afraid to go panty-less, but water slides are scary? wtf?