Sunday, 20 February 2011

Birthday Boot Camp

Can't we just gloss over the fact that it's my goddam birthday? 



It's my birthday.  Well, it will be my birthday on Tuesday.  My effing (f*ck) twenty (F*CK!) seventh birthday. 

Damn it. 

I guess I am reluctantly embracing it. 

Ok, embracing is a strong word.  Tolerating is more accurate. 

And as part of my toleration strategy, I have planned to "celebrate" (f*ck) for five whole days.  I took Monday and Tuesday off work, and I intend to use them to my advantage. 

Friday - Day One:

Cheesy teen movie with the girls.  I Am Number Four.  This is the type of movie that makes you cover your eyes because the cheese burns your corneas.  LOVED it.  

Saturday - Day Two:

Wii, and wine, and duelling pianos.  From which I've learned three important things: a) I am the QUEEN of sword fighting; b) wine is delicious; and, c) rockin piano dudes at a kickass New Orleans-inspired bar make for the funnest birthday activity known to humanity.

Day Three:  

Sore arms, and a minor hangover, and sitting.  From which I've learned three crucial lessons:  a) being the Queen sword fighter comes at a price; b) wine is effective; and, c) sitting on the couch watching Nanny McPhee is good, but it still doesn't top sitting on the couch and repeatedly enjoying the hilarity of the Birthday Boot Camp talking birthday card.   

Haaappy Biiirthday! 
Say it like you mean it!
Happy Birthday!
You do not have to shout!  I am not deaf!  I want piece of cake and a fork!
Would you like ice cream Sir?!
Did I ASK for ice cream?!
Get in there and get me some cake!
Ok Sir!
Hup-to.  Huo-to.  Hup-to. 
Clap in unison!
*clap clap clap clap clap*

Clearly, this is the highlight so far.  No contest.


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