Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Brace yourself – this one's serious

I’ve gone back and forth about writing this.

There is no way to say what I’m thinking in a cute or funny way.  It’s impossible.  But censoring my little online diary here is ridiculous. 

So here it is. 

For me, this all started with a profound posting by my blogging idol The Bloggess.  She wrote about one of her fellow bloggers, Lori, from Australia.

Lori is a stay-at-home mom, and a funny, quirky blogger.  She blogs about her one- and three- year old kids, and her loving husband Tony, and her favourite colour.

And just after Christmas, her life changed forever.  Early this year, Tony died.  He committed suicide.  A very unexpected, traumatic, and emotionally scarring suicide.

He had a very unexpected psychotic breakdown and lost himself.

And Lori lost him too.

So.

What’s my point?

Well, Lori has continued blogging.  Brutally honest, tear-jerking, heart-wrenching blogging.

And before you question why in hell she is doing so – Stop.  Don’t judge her.  As far as I can tell, she has continued her blog for a few significant reasons.

First, to help her grieve.  To get it out.  To find at least some form of catharsis among this mess.

Second, to reach out to her readers.  I don’t know how many of you are into the “blog scene” but there’s a very unique and powerful community out there in cyberspace.  There’s a connection.  And people who read Lori’s blog – Before and After – support her.

Third, she refuses to be shamed into shutting up.  Nobody talks about mental health.  Everybody ignores it, or denies it, or keeps it hidden, or writes it off.  Not Lori.  She wants people to SPEAK UP.  She wants to write about what’s happened to her, and to Tony, and to do so with no holds barred.

And although she’s had a few negative responses online – occasional naysayers who disapprove of her – to them she says: F you.

And I say it too.  That blog is her personal space.  And for those people (perhaps including some of you) who may not want to expose themselves to her pain, that is respectfully their choice.

But for Lori – and for the people who are touched (and helped) by what she’s saying – she needs this blog – and so do they.

So.

Again, what’s my point?

My point is that Lori’s story has affected me.  I think about her often.  I have emailed her and posted comments on her site.  I have joined the hundreds who have reached out to her, for the sole reason that she has reached out to us. 

And while I don’t have a clue how she’s truly feeling, I can still relate to what she writes.  I can see myself in her hurt, even if I’ve never been in that much pain.  I can hear my own inner voices in her despair, even if they’re not saying the same things.

I don’t know what she's going through.  And I don’t want to.  But I can see her as a person, a human being with feelings – just like the rest of us.

And I absolutely ache for her and her babies, and for her Tony too.  And I admire her strength more than I can say.

You may like to read her recent blog postings.  You may not.  They are sometimes ugly and scary.  But they are always poignant and heartfelt and REAL.  And they shed light on something that so many of us are afraid to confront.  Including me.

This is The Bloggess' posting. At least read this

And if you're interested, this is the Before.

And if you're brave, this is the beginning of the After. 

And if you want to keep following this amazing and courageous woman as she continues to gain strength, this is today.


And if you'd like to help minimize just one of Lori's many worries, consider this:




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