7:30 – Got out of bed. 30 minutes late.
8:20 – Managed to get out the door only 20 minutes late, so that’s not a total fail.
8:21 – Forgot my office pass, ran back into the house, fell up the stairs, cursed like a dirty trucker.
8:22 – Drove to the mall to “park and ride”
8:30 – Didn’t get a ticket for parking at the mall before hopping on the bus, nor did I get into a fight with a mall cop. Check.
9:15 –Arrived at the office and managed to remember to turn right instead of left off the elevator to get to my new desk. Check number two.
10:00 – Had a meeting with my new colleagues in which I had absolutely nothing interesting/intelligent to say.
10:30 – Successfully reset my voicemail. Another point for me.
(Clearly, this was a particularly productive morning.)
12:57 – Came back from lunch only to realize that I very nearly missed a meeting – that was in my calendar – that I had completely forgotten about – on my first day. Narrow escape.
2:00 – Read a bunch of stuff. Ya know, to figure out how the hell I’m even supposed to do this job. No better way to feel stupid than by having to admit you don’t know anything about anything.
3:00 – Managed to find a way to feel smart again by going to talk to my former colleagues – at least they’ll always have questions for me.
3:35 – Enjoyed a delicious Eatmore chocolate bar – of which I friggin EARNED, if I do say so myself. Don’t judge me.
5:03 – Made a joke to my new boss about her favourite hair stylist – at MAGICUTS – that was pretty well-received.
5:12 – In true George Costanza style, made a hasty exit on a high note before my little comedy routine backfired in my face.