Tuesday, 4 September 2012

We're all going to fall to our deaths. Basically.

For Christsakes.

It's been fairly discouraging at work lately. We're working on a big project and everywhere we turn there's a new fucking pothole in our way. "Can't go over it, can't go under it, gotta go through it."

So we patch up the potholes, or we find a way around, or we curse until we feel better and try to move on.

But sometimes they aren't just potholes. Sometimes they are giant fucking caverns and caves and mystery mad hatter rabbit holes that lead us to hell in a goddam coffin masquerading as a hand basket.

So it's frustrating.

To say the least.

And then tonight, I was pretty pleased with myself. I tolerated my day and managed to work EXACTLY eight hours. I arrived at 9:40 and then I was perfectly ready to leave at 5:40.

So I did.

I walked in the rain to the bus stop, waited, got onto a damp and smelly bus, opened my book, and tried to tune out the world for my next 45 to 50 minutes of peace.

And then, 5 minutes from my last stop, the bus just. stopped. moving. It just stopped.

Now. In a city of expert bus designers, our buses never just stop. There are bus lanes and terminals and all forms of this-isn't-a-subway-but-it's-almost-the-same-we-swear tactics that keep our buses running smoothly.

Sometimes.

Kind of.

Probably.

So when my bus came to a dead halt in the highway bus lane, my confusion slowly turned to frustration, which in my case usually leads to homicidal tendencies.

As you can surely imagine, my murderous rage didn't improve much as we sat there FOR 25 MINUTES. 

And do you care to know WHY this injustice was brought upon me?

Behold:


POTHOLE.

It was a fucking pothole, people.

No. Not a pothole. A SINKHOLE.

That's a car. IN A SINKHOLE.

That car there - the one with its ass end sticking out of the highway - is not hunting for buried treasure; it is not pretending it is a cartoon ostrich; it is not digging a fort.

No.

That car GOT SUCKED INTO THE EARTH BY THE COMMUTING DEMON WHO IS SET ON RUINING MY LIFE.

Don't worry. The guy got out ok. He just crawled out (wtf) and now he has a great story for dinner parties. 

As for me, not only did I get home an hour late, but now I'm terrified that the ground is just going to open up randomly under my feet like those apocalypse movies when the earth cracks and all the people try to run but the crack spreads and they all get sucked in and I'm obviously going to fall miles and miles to my eventual painful demise.

Or worse, I might get trapped in a muddy pit.

Either way, it ain't pretty.


23 comments:

  1. that is going to spoil your day to say the least, falling/diving head first in a hole like that is horrific

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  2. That is a pretty scary thought! I can't imagine just driving along then boom you are in a sinkhole.

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    Replies
    1. And then BOOM you're in a sinkhole.

      LOL. My new motto.

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    2. Hahaha I kind of love that too

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  3. Replies
    1. I KNOW! It's big news around here today. lol

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  4. That is terrible! I don't think I'd wish a sinkhole on my worst enemy: it looks really scary!

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    1. Maybe my *worst* enemy, but certainly not just regular run-of-the-mill enemies.

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  5. for fucks sake!

    and then BOOM! you're in a sinkhole.

    ...now I AM terrified. Thanks.

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    1. Right?!

      You're welcome. I couldn't resist. Misery loves company.

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  6. EWW!!
    Do I want to come there now or will my plane be sucked into the fiery bowels of hell upon landing??

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  7. PS I'm glad it wasn't you in that car.
    and I'm sorry it took you forever to get home.

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    Replies
    1. Nice of you to say so. After to worried about YOURSELF. Humph.

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  8. Holy fucking shit!!! So glad the bus didn't drive in... Great, now I'm paranoid, too!

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  9. Winnipeg is one giant pothole. Sinkholes are pretty common. Some pretty crazy shit. But the homocide rate is higher, so our thought is boom a gunshot wound to the chest.

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  10. Dear God! Isn't there a way to check for Sink Holes BEFORE you build a road?! I don't think I'm going to be paranoid... unless I fall asleep while Jex is driving and we hit one of those little dip/hill things that make you feel like you're on a roller coaster, then I think I'll wake up with the image of that car in my mind and a scream on my tongue.
    Glad you got home safe.

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    Replies
    1. I know! It was so ridiculous! A scream on your tongue! Ha!

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