Saturday, 22 September 2012

My life: the movie.

Life in this house is a matter of several stupid moments strung together into a series of idiocy that must at least merit a low budget short-film with a cast of unknown actors.

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Hubby:  I vacuumed the whole basement yesterday. 

Me:  Oh, great. 

Hubby:  And then, once I finished, I noticed that the vacuum hose was detached.  Just the beater was working.  Nothing was getting sucked up.  ...  So I vacuumed the whole thing again. 

Me:  *laughing at Hubby's expense*

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I was in a deep sleep this morning.  It was 4:38 am.  I was dreaming.  And then I was shockingly and abruptly awakened by a giant anvil falling onto my chest! 
 
Ok, so it was less of an anvil, and more of a Tuxedo Cat who got spooked by Hubby's pillow-flip, ran onto my chest, and pushed off into the air. 
 
But it felt like an anvil.  And I was so dazed and confused that hyperventilation quickly followed, while both Hubby and Tuxedo Cat stared and waited for calm to return and logic to reign. 
 
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Hubby:  The new IOS6 came out today.  You can update your phone. 
 
Me:  Yeah?  How long does it take?
 
Hubby:  Oh, about 30 or 45 minutes I guess. 
 
Me:  And can I use my phone while it updates?
 
Hubby:  Well, no .
 
Me:  ...
 
Hubby:  You're never going to do it, are you?  You'll just have the old version forever. 
 
Me:  Yeah, that's what I was thinking. 
 
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17 comments:

  1. can you update the phone while you sleep? that seems pretty manageable and not so panic-inducing.
    it's shocking when a cat jumps on you all of a sudden, especially when you're sleeping it or just really don't see it coming. mine will dive off the top of a tall bookcase where she rests by the ceiling and then straight down onto us on the couch below and scares the crap out of us in the process. that's probably why she does it.

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    1. Yeah, that's what I ended up doing. But it wasn't easy!

      Of COURSE that's why she does it! haha!

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  2. haha. go ahead, prove him wrong. update it. it will freak him out.

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    1. It totally did freak him out! He wasn't expecting me to let the phone out of my hand for even a minute, let alone 45.

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  3. I updated mine at work, while working. And having my computer in front of me, so I could continue to breath normally. You can do it!

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  4. I am very familiar with furry anvils falling on my sleep and crushing it to death. Only in the form of a 50lb Shepherd mix.
    And I totally loved they hubby bit. Ahhh, men and house work.

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    1. Oh, if it was Patches Cat, instead of Tuxedo Cat, it may have been closer to 50 pounds! ;)

      It isn't beyond me to screw up the vacuum either.

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  5. And that is why I don't have a cat. You see, my bladder control has not been the same since the kids and an anvil like cat on my chest in the middle of the night would more than likely make me literally pee my pants . . . which is really not cool when you are 36.
    Jenn

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  6. I've vacuumed twice because the house was detached... so I feel hubby's pain. You're evil for laughing. Just sayin'

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    1. ...I should probably be more concerned that my house was detached huh?

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    2. Yeah I'm evil. What of it?

      Well, with our vac system the house is in a way detached from the hose, so you're not far off.

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  7. The movie of my life would be filed with bleeps.

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  8. So, could you make a real movie of your life, please? That would make me very happy. And you might get rich. Just a thought...

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    1. This blog might be as good as it gets. And nobody's getting rich! Ha.

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