Wednesday, 11 April 2012

A map of my favourite dead person spot


I went walking with Momma on Sunday.  I have a favourite walking place in Hometown, with gorgeous paths through the woods on the lake.  I love it.  It makes me happy and helps me find peace and it is therefore where you all should throw me when I die.  My ashes, I mean.  Not my body.  That would be weird. 



My favourite spot

I told Momma she'll have to show Hubby where my favourite spot is - you know, for my ashes.  But then it occurred to me that I kinda hope Momma's not still alive when I die.  I mean, OF COURSE I DO, but if I die before her..., I think that's somehow worse, isn't it? 

Although, come to think of it, that'd be WAY easier on me emotionally, so maybe it is a good idea for me to kick the bucket ahead of time.  

In any case, I now think it's important to draw a map of my favourite spot so you will all know where I want to be laid to "rest".  (Not that it really matters.  I'll be dead.  I won't know.)


When you throw me over the edge, you should also be sure to bring some birdseed.  I love feeding the birds at my Happy Place.  Maybe just try not to mix up the ashes and the birdseed.  I don't want birds eating me, if it can be avoided.  (But again, maybe I'll never know.  But maybe I will.  Maybe I'll haunt and follow you all everywhere you go, pointing out all your mistakes and laughing at you.  That sounds like me.)


Me feeding a bird.  Like Mary Poppins. 
If you need any further instructions, you should probably contact Hubby.  Or Momma. Even if she's already dead.  She's a little psychic or something, so I think if you called her, she'd probably just show up.  Watch out though - she's known to sneak up on people. And she's startling when she's alive, so dead? She'd be a friggin heart stopper. 

17 comments:

  1. lol I have no words for this one. lol

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  2. The Hoo Family are also sprinklers, not keepers, of the ashes of dead folk and pets. The Weasel is a keeper. I foresee an urn-fight.

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  3. oh my, thank GODDESS for that Map or I wouldn't have known what to do when you kicked the bucket! That is, because I am now scared of Momma and will not be calling her for directions.

    <3

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    1. Oh, she's not scary. She's just magical.

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  4. if birds eat you though you could travel the world with them.... I think that would be nice.... unless you don't want to travel the world as a dead ghost in a bird.

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  5. You missed your calling as a cartographer. But it looks like you found a pretty awesome place to spend your afterlife. My favorite outside view happens to be on my college campus. Behind all the buildings and stuff is some green space, and then some woods with a BIG hill that overlooks a BIG lake. So when you stand on top of the hill and look over as the sky meets the water, it makes you feel like you're in some sort of giant blue bowl. But I'm not sure I should have my ashes scattered there. They might get barfed on, or something.

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    1. Oly you would know the word for "map maker". I loved my campus too. Hubby and I actually got married there, actually.

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  6. I'm glad you clarified about the ashes thing. I had visions of us throwing your body somewhere and that seemed kinda morbid. Although to be honest, ashes really freak me out. Maybe I'll just let someone else throw you there and I'll come bring you a milkshake or something.

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    1. *Kinda* morbid? VERY morbid.

      I would LOVE a milkshake! Or a DQ Blizzard.

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  7. It looks like a beautiful place...but I hope I don't lose the map before then. Sixty plus years is a long time to hold onto a map, you know. I might lose it.

    I love how you feed birds! That photo makes me happy and I can see why you recommended we bring along some birdseed.

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    1. Sixty years? I hope so.

      It is a lovely bird place. You'd love it. You could ride your bike there! No aligators though...

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  8. I wish birds (or any other animal for that matter) would like me enough to eat from my hand.
    I think they think it's a trap.

    You're 'restful spot' is lovely. I think I want to be smuggled into some botanical gardens or someplace you're really not supposed to toss ashes, but where they would do some good anyways.

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    1. Botanical gardens sounds lovely. I always want to be somewhere people could come "visit". We scattered my aunts ashes in her garden (which she loved) but then when the house sold I felt sad.

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  9. So just to clarify, you want your body..er..ASHES thrown on the rocky cliff, correct? or past the rocks and aim for the water? I mean, your map is totally awesome but I'd hate to mess up and throw your ashes where they don't belong. Is throw correct or should they be laid or scattered? Holy crap I'm totally stressed now! ;-) It's a lovely spot and looks quite peaceful. Maybe I'll just put myself in charge of bringing yummy treats for your bird friends.

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