Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Are we sure *today* wasn't Friday the 13th?

I was running an hour late this morning.  No different than every single other morning (because mornings are assholes), but still, it sucks. 

When I finally got going, I tried to drive to the bus station with a frosty windshield and summer tires (becasue I've been to lazy/cheap to get the winter tires switched). 

Despite the impending snow storm, I finally got to the bus station.  And immediately proceeded to fall UP the stairs.  IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.  

I picked my ass up off the floor, just in time to see my bus pulling away.  So I took off up another set of stairs to run - and I mean RUN - across the pedestrian overpass to catch the bus at the next stop. 

Note:  Running when you've not done any cardio activity in several months is a problem. 

But I made it!  I basically suffocated, but I made it. 

Unfortunately, I then spent what felt like 20 minutes trying to dig my bus tickets out of my coat pocket while the bus driver sat there and stared at me.  And so did everyone else.  He wouldn't drive until I handed them over.  He just sat there.  What did he think? I was pretending

I found the damn things and apologized.  He seemed to perk up, and expressed his concern that bus tickets are a pain in the ass for everyone.  Including him.

The bus started moving and I made my way to my seat.  And then I began to DIE.  It was 150 degrees in there and the heat was blowing RIGHT ON ME.  Plus I was all hot and bothered from running a mile at top speed. 

It took another 20 minutes to get my coat, scarf, and gloves off, to blow my cold runny nose, and to situate my kickass new iPod and kickass iPhone within reach. 


And then this. 

And then all of a sudden all was right in the world again.

Fucking r-tards.  Don't ring the bell until your stop comes.  And if you ring it early, you better damn well get off at the next stop if nobody else does because if you make my bus stop moving for no effing reason I WILL kill you.  Amateurs. 


  1. You are so funny! Now I remember why I don't miss public transportation. Or a real winter...

  2. Hhahahah I guess they need to learn the proper bus etiquette. Or walk.

  3. well shit, didn't they realize you had already experienced a craptastic morning (running is for losers)????? how douchecanoe of them to ring the bell early. THANK GOD FOR BUS DRIVERS WHO CALL 'EM OUT FOR THAT SHIT

  4. Mornings ARE ass-holes. But that bus driver, while I thought he was right up there with those mornings, turned out to be OK after all. Whew!

  5. And I'D be the person to ring it early. Not on purpose but just because I'm dumb. And I'd cry if I got yelled at.

  6. On the subway once, I listened to the conductor ask twice, very reasonably, that people not block the doors. The second time, he even explained that the next train would literally be there in seconds, so people didn't have to crowd into the train. Finally, he reached the end of his rope, so he yelled "Stop blocking the fucking doors!!!"

  7. This is exactly why you hate mornings. This story makes me need a nap...or a xanax...and it didn't even happen to me.

  8. Vivian - Thanks! Oh god, I wish I could skip public transit and winter. Way to rub it in...

    Gia - Amen!

    Carm - Exactly. What would I do without grumpy bus drivers to put them in their place?!

    Lizbeth - Whew is right! It could have gone the whole other way... ;)

    Sunburst - Oh, you gotta have a thick skin on the bus! Dish it right back!

    Rachel - There has been a bunch on controversy here lately with our bus drivers. One walked off the bus and left everyone stranded. Another got "sucker punched". Poor guys. Such a hard job!

    jac - I'm so glad you understand me. I'll have a nap with you.

  9. Wow. And then you had to WORK after all of that? So, so wrong. I hereby give you 2 days off, effective tomorrow at 5 p.m.

  10. -gods- Blogspot can be a douchcanoe.

    only 5 times before I could post.

    Seriously, i have had that day. that day was today. Daughter "ran away" from home...

    Dog threw up.

    my mouth was an asshat, and decided to hurt. (a lot)

    I am so with you! Solidarity with with the idiotic people. and wine slushies, they make the world happier

  11. Ang - Oy

    Beans - Oh, how sweet of you!

    reallyoutthere - I think the dog throwing up is the worst part, no? ;)

  12. Oh the fun of commuting. Is there not a pass you can buy like the Oyster cards in London?

  13. Ashes - Not sure what Oyster cards are, but there are monthly or annual passes. I just use tickets because they're cheaper for me (given that I sometimes drive to work). Stupid!!