Friday, 19 October 2012

Mickey Mouse massages are not for me

Yesterday I veered away from my normal massage therapist to a new place that was offering a discount.  And so I have a tip for you. 

NEVER VEER AWAY FROM YOUR NORMAL MASSAGE THERAPIST TO A NEW PLACE THAT IS OFFERING A DISCOUNT. 

This whole operation was the most Mickey Mouse performance I could've ever contemplated.  If it had been any worse, I would've just turned around and walked out.  But it was clean, and the girls were nice, and it was quiet - which is more than I can say for my own house. 

So I gave them the benefit of the doubt and just kept waiting for the situation to improve.  Needless to say, it never did. 

First of all, I left work precisely at 5:00 to be sure I would arrive on time for my 5:45 appointment.  And then I sat there - until 6:05 - reading an old Canadian Living magazine and drinking luke warm water out of a plastic cup. 

Also, I assumed that at some point, as a new client, I would fill out one of those forms.  You know those forms?  The forms with the list of your injuries and problem areas and medications.  (Mine is less of a "form", and more of a "novel" - or a link to this blog.)  But no.  There was no form. 

So then I assumed the massage therapist would just ask me those questions.  I should have known better, of course.  The extent of her conversation with me was telling me where to put my clothes. 

When I crawled onto the massage table I was disappointed at the lack of amenities.  No strategically placed cushions, no fluffy duvet, no fancy bedding, no heated blankets.  This table was just a table - with 2 blue flannel flat sheets and a heating pad placed under my boobs. 

Ummmm...

But it was too late.  I was naked, and cold, and clinging to any hint of hope that at least the massage would be worth it. 

Well, as you probably know, a massage is almost always worth it.  But this massage?  This massage was weak.  I like a massage therapist to know every single one of my joints and muscles and beat the shit out of them until they feel better.  Not the case last night. 

By the time the whole thing was done, I was not only naked and cold, I was also covered in oil. 

So do I want to book my next appointment?  I should think not.

Lesson learned. 

16 comments:

  1. booo. write up a bad review for them on some online page so others won't waste their time or $.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I tried to find a page but no such luck. At very least I should tell the owner maybe.

      Delete
  2. I need to get massage therapy... my poor back is so fucked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does help. For a while anyway. I think it would be best if I could afford it more often - maybe monthly. Got an money I can have? ;)

      Delete
  3. I imagine this massage made you so tense and pissed off that you immediately had to go have another one at your regular place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so right! I plan to book a proper one soon. bah.

      Delete
  4. happened to me once, too. now when my regular place is booked, i wait until the next avail appointment. i also don't book another RMT other than my own. i did that once and got a lady who had the sharpest hands... it was as if she was clawing at me the whole time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My RMT went on mat leave, and I was so mad at her! haha But I found another gal that was equally skilled. If anyone clawed me I might claw them back!

      Delete
  5. As if being naked & cold wasn't bad enough...oil too? You poor thing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have made that error time and time again. Wagjag and Groupon have given me horrible experiences, but lots of blog fodder, so there's that. lol.

    Sorry it sucked for you. It's always a disappointment when something should be super enjoyable and you leave just feeling icky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. And most places get SOOO busy with the Groupon that even if they started out providing okay or "meh" service, they end up burning out, hiring anyone to help fill the vouchers.

      That equals crap service.

      Or, you know, they just sucked to begin with. lol.

      Delete
    2. Or they're new businesses who don't know really what they're doing yet!

      Delete
  7. Oh no! That's terrible. I once had a massage where the "lady" clearly wanted to rub my ass cheeks. Awkward. Needless to say, I didn't go back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hubby loves a good ass massage. More like a "glute" massage. But from me, his wife, not some stranger one is paying!

      Delete