Thursday, 28 October 2010

Haven't burned the house down. Yet.

Hubby and I have a new hobby.  Fire.  

Wait, no, we're not pyromaniacs.  We just recently confirmed that our fireplace is not dangerous (or at least we think it's not dangerous), so we started using it... every day.  
  

We've been living here for almost two years.  When the inspector evaluated the house before we bought it, he suggested we have the chimneys cleaned.  So we did.  The chimney sweep said they needed to be fixed.  We weren't sure if we believed him, so we lit our first fire.  Bur after a while, the fire started to smell like cancer - like burning plastic, or a chemical reaction, or cremation.  (Ok, I don't really know what cremation smells like, but it can't be good.)  So we immediately put out the cancer fire and haven't used the fireplace since. 

Until last weekend.  

We decided that we were done living with two - yes two - unused wood fireplaces.  So we called a few guys to book an inspection.  The least expensive company was going to charge 90 bucks - 90 bucks to basically look at our fireplaces.  Whatever.

But then we called one guy, who, despite the fact that he was either drunk, or crazy, or both, seemed to want to help us. 

He talked Hubby through a self-inspection, and helped us diagnose the problem - that is, that there was no problem.  Maybe the cancer smell was coming form the foam insulation underneath. 

Beautiful.

So Hubby ordered wood, had it delivered, and stacked it in our shed. 

And voila!  We've been lighting fires every day since. 

But our fires aren't really burning that well, so I started to think Hubby didn't really know how to build one.  "Did you shovel it out so it gets enough air?" I kept asking him.  "Did you put kindling in there?"  "Did you crumple the paper?"  

Yes, yes, he knows how to build a fire. 

So why isn't it burning? 

Turns out, the wood is wet (haha, that sounds dirty).  So we thought about taking it all back, but who really wants to un-stack and re-stack a bunch of wood?  No one. 

So we're tolerating the wet wood (haha, dirty again), simply because there's nothing like sitting by a warm fire on a cold damp Autumn day (even if it is a slow-burning pile of hissing, damp, and sizzling coals) . 

I just can't believe we waited this long to jump on the fire bandwagon.  I guess all we have to worry about now is that the fireplace is actually safe.  I think it is.  Yeah, I bet it's fine.  No more cancer smell, anyway.  And we haven't burned the house down.  Yet.  

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