Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Dirty Tony Morano

We’re car shopping.  And it’s NOT easy, let me tell you.

We drove a Nissan Morano, but the salesman was a greasy and condescending fool.  I think his name was Tony.

So we spoke with a friend who happens to be a car salesman (we don’t hold it against him), and he gave us a few tips.

#1: The salesman is not on your side.  Even if he’s the nicest guy you’ve ever met, he is only saying whatever you want to hear.  The higher the sale price, the more money in his pocket.

No kidding!  Dirty Tony Morano was pleasant enough (in a you-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about kind of way).  He acted like he didn’t mind helping us – he had nothing better to do.  But he was, right from the start, luring us in... leading us bit by bit into the dark cave…

Test drive the Rogue.  Test drive the Morano.  There’s no reason we wouldn’t like the Morano – everyone likes it, it’s perfect.  Look at the list of features.  Do we want to trade in our Civic?  No?  Well, he’ll check anyway.  What’s our monthly payment price range?  He’ll run that by his managers.

Luckily, we’re not that stupid.

#2:  The salesman is lying to you.  He’s hiding things.  He is two steps ahead of you, and he knows it.

You bet.  Once Dirty Tony Morano got into the numbers, the sharks began to circle...

But we’re RIGHT in our monthly payment price range, just like we wanted.  Sure, it’s at the high-end - and for a LEASE - but it’s worth it!  The base model Morano is better than the best Rav4.  And with a LEASE, we’ll get a new car every four years.  It’s a great deal.

Sure it is.

#3: The salesman will always try to convince you that you can afford more.

Well, of course.

So, if we want to BUY, what’s an extra 100 bucks a month?  Nothing!  It’s SUCH a great deal.  No?  Not convinced?  Well, that’s the best we’re going to get for our old Civic.  No buyer in the city will pay what we want.  So what could he do to seal this deal today?  Nothing? Really?!  Nobody’s ever said there is NO price they’d be happy with!

Yeah, I’ll just get my wallet out.  Don’t hold your breath, Dirty Tony.

But 2010 models are getting scarce.  And we’ll just get confused if we test drive anything else.

Really, Dirty Tony?  Do you get confused when you drive more than one car?

#4: You need to know what you want and how much you want to pay.  You need to know the promotions, and what you can afford.  And then you need to offer thousands below that.

And we will.  When we’re ready to buy.  And in the meantime, I’m happy to waste Dirty Tony’s time – I’ve got nothing to lose.


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