Thursday, 26 August 2010

My brain is like a frightened turtle.

My brain is refusing to cooperate.  It has absorbed enough information this week to cause an explosion, and so it is now recoiling as a defence mechanism.

I’m working on something really big at work, and to get to the bottom of one problem after another, I have to ask a lot of questions.  Every question simply leads to a less-than-adequate answer, which leads to more questions, and more answers, and more questions, and more answers, in a pathetic onion-peeling-cycle-of-hell that ultimately results in my brain having no further interest in coming up with more questions.

My brain feels tired.  It is beginning to shrivel away from any contact with other brains.  It wants to be left alone.  It wants to be free from poking and prodding and is begging me to stop jamming more and more information into the backlogs of my memory.

It doesn’t want to catalogue any more new data, and it doesn’t want me to ask it to recall random tidbits of that data at a moment’s notice.

Unfortunately, my brain is going to have to step it up - I’ve got several more months of this ahead of me.  It better shape up or ship out, cause it ain’t getting any better.  That’s for sure.

The problem is, I think it might choose the “ship out” option.  I think it might just resign and leave me high and dry with no method of recourse.  And I don’t expect the courtesy of two-weeks notice.  My brain is going to walk out in an immediate and unexpected protest at any moment while I’m left struggling to manage without it.

I’m going to have to establish a collective agreement with my brain.  I need some type of assurance that it will do its job, without complaint, at the level of productivity that I have come to expect.  And I need to have to right to take action if it does not hold up its end of the bargain.

I will, however, probably have to offer it something in return – some kind of repayment for all its efforts.  My brain can surely do without me, but I can’t do without my brain… which means that my brain is in a position of power to negotiate the terms of the contract. 

So, fine, what am I prepared to give up?  When am I prepared to turn off my brain to let it rest?

Evenings?  No, it doesn’t appear that I am.

Weekends then.  I should certainly hope so.  Maybe at least every other weekend...

While sleeping?  Definitely.  My brain should rest when I sleep.  That seems fair. 

Actually, come to think of it, my brain should be damn pleased that I’m cramming so much information in there.  It's a long-term investment.  Like a trade off.  Hard work now, big pay-off later.

So suck it up brain.  Come out of your shell and face the world.  You can do it.  I believe in you.

No comments:

Post a Comment