I caught a fever. I woke up this morning feeling pretty normal, but then, when I was watching the Today Show, something funny started to happen inside me. I felt kinda tingly and giddy... off kilter.
And that's when I realized.
I caught it.
I caught Bieber Fever.
I was minding my own business! I wasn't exposing myself to dangerous contagions! I was clean!
But then Matt Lauer was interviewing The Biebs and everything got a bit goofy. It turns out that Matt just joined the twitter, and he made the mistake of asking The Biebs to help him with his first tweet.
True to form, the little dude genius took Matt's phone, and tweeted this:
What a sucker. He totally handed over his phone - and his first ever tweet - to an 18 year old pop star with 25 million twitter followers. GOOD IDEA MATT.
And then I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
But afterward, I began to get sucked in... Not only is he an 18 year old genius, but that Boyfriend song is actually really catchy. And he's a good little dancer, isn't he? And Canadian. We can't forget Canadian. Be still my heart.
There's no hope for me. I'm lost. This fever will consume me and I will forever be wandering the wasteland of what was once my adult life, wondering where all my responsible friends and family members have gone...
Sure, Hubby may stick by me for a while, but for how long? How long can he deal with a tragically and hopelessly ill Wifey? Not long. He may have stood by me through Asshole Depression and Bastard Anxiety, but not this. This is too much. Now he knows I've truly gone insane.
There's no going back. Farewell, cruel world. Farewell.
Baby, baby, baby, Ohhhhhhh...