What a wonderful day I had today. I bet you'd all like to hear about it.
I had a lovely appointment with my doctor this morning that I wasn't at all late for. It was such a pleasant appointment, too. Which of course did not include a pap smear with a plastic thing shoved up my hoo-haw. And the doctor didn't even forget to do some other random uterus swab, and I didn't therefore have to lay BACK DOWN for her to finish her important work inside my va-jay-jay.
Then I didn't have to spend 30 dollars on a birthday cake for a colleague.
THEN I totally didn't have an afternoon full of annoying meetings at work. All my non-meetings were particularly productive and especially hilarious. I came away feeling extremely useful and like a valuable member of my organization.
Also, the hem on my pants stayed intact all day long. I was totally not walking around all afternoon carrying my pant leg in my left hand. Because that would've been a real pain. Had that happened. Which it didn't.
After all that, I didn't have to rush to an appointment with my therapist. I drove there smoothly, without coming across even one obnoxious protest-related traffic jam. I was perfectly on time for my appointment - early even - and I got the opportunity to talk to my therapist for the following hour about how sane and rational I am at all times. It's embarrassing, actually, what great shape I'm in. I love getting up to face the day. (It's also embarrassing that I can totally afford the 160 bucks it cost for my therapist to tell me about my mental stability.)
To top off my near-perfect day, I in no way witnessed an automobile accident in which a cab driver's car spun in multiple circles across 5 lanes of traffic directly behind me. Any day that you don't have to call 911 is a good day! Lucky, too, because that type of traumatic event could cause a sane person (such as myself) to react calmly and rationally - with regular breathing patterns, a slow heartbeat, and very dry eyes.
I think the best part of today was my evening of peace and quiet.
Not once did I have to re-live a terrifying experience over the phone to a cop who is investigating a car crash.
Not once did I have to consider calling in sick tomorrow.
Not once did I regret leaving the house in the fucking first place this morning.
My life is soooo relaxing. Ahhhhh...