Thursday, 27 January 2011

Avoid crack addicts

We went for a team lunch today at the new fancy wood stove pizza place.

The food was delicious, and the company great, but there was one oddly-placed and unexpected crack addict that I wish we could have avoided.

You can always spot a crack addict.  And by “crack addict” I mean sketchy gross person who must be on some type of drug, because why else would they be such a mess?

This was definitely a crack addict.

Don’t doubt me.

I can tell.

At first I thought she was just a little nutso - saying weird things to my colleagues and making a minor spectacle of herself.

But then I saw her face.

If you can’t spot a crack addict by the random outbursts, then you can spot her by the Herpes.

And while she was shooing away the voices in her head, I was trying to figure out why a crack addict would be spending her money in a fancy wood stove pizza place.

It's contradictory to all logic, isn't it?  I mean, doesn’t she have some drugs to buy or something?  Seems like a waste of money to me.

After that, I just spent most of my lunch trying to avoid eye contact – and trying not to contract Herpes.

Can you contract Herpes from across a room?

Probably.  Like, what if she sneezed and the Herpes landed on my pizza?  Ew. 

At least if I get Herpes from my pizza, Hubby will get it too, since I saved him a piece. 

This is why I think it’s important to avoid crack addicts – no matter how fancy and delicious the pizza.

_

2 comments:

  1. I LOVE how you were all "Hubby will get it too." Like, oh well. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I get it, he has to get it too so I feel better about myself.

    ReplyDelete