We went for a team lunch today at the new fancy wood stove pizza place.
The food was delicious, and the company great, but there was one oddly-placed and unexpected crack addict that I wish we could have avoided.
You can always spot a crack addict. And by “crack addict” I mean sketchy gross person who must be on some type of drug, because why else would they be such a mess?
This was definitely a crack addict.
Don’t doubt me.
I can tell.
At first I thought she was just a little nutso - saying weird things to my colleagues and making a minor spectacle of herself.
But then I saw her face.
If you can’t spot a crack addict by the random outbursts, then you can spot her by the Herpes.
And while she was shooing away the voices in her head, I was trying to figure out why a crack addict would be spending her money in a fancy wood stove pizza place.
It's contradictory to all logic, isn't it? I mean, doesn’t she have some drugs to buy or something? Seems like a waste of money to me.
After that, I just spent most of my lunch trying to avoid eye contact – and trying not to contract Herpes.
Can you contract Herpes from across a room?
Probably. Like, what if she sneezed and the Herpes landed on my pizza? Ew.
At least if I get Herpes from my pizza, Hubby will get it too, since I saved him a piece.
This is why I think it’s important to avoid crack addicts – no matter how fancy and delicious the pizza.