I effing hate Euchre.
Ok, I guess I can't say I hate a game if I've never really played it - but I still do.
I've tried to learn how to play Euchre at least 10 times in the last 15 years - including last night - and I have to say it's a goddam lost cause. I will never learn to play this game. Partly because I might be too stupid, but mostly because I effing hate it. I hate how you play on a team. I hate how you don't use all the cards. I hate "trump" and "going alone" and "tricks". Tricks are for friggin kids. I hate how everyone else knows exactly what they're doing and I am so damn lost that I feel like crying and/or kicking someone's ASS.
I'm not even a dumb person, generally. I should understand this, right? It shouldn't be so freaking difficult. But it is. And that's why I hate it.
I think what pisses me off the most about Euchre is that people always act like it's so strategic. Well if it's so strategic then why does the person who is trying to teach me always end up saying: "You have to play this card" or "You have to play that card." If it is so damn obvious what card I "have" to play, then what the hell is so strategic about it?
I much prefer Spoons. Spoons is a game I am totally on board with.
In Spoons, each player (and there's no frgging 4-player limit either - the more the frigging merrier) gets 4 random cards. The object of the game is to get 4 of a kind. So everyone frantically passes 1 card at a time to the left (receiving a new card from the right). The first person to get 4 a of kind dives to the centre of the table to grab a spoon. And if you see someone else grab a spoon, you better grab one too because there is always one less spoon than there are players, and if you don't get one, YOU ARE OUT. Kind of like Musical Spoons.
You have never seen a more hilarious and frantic shit show than a bunch of (usually inebriated) people diving for (and often fighting over the last) spoon.
And Spoons, unlike Euchre, is strategic. For example, if you can sneak your spoon without others noticing, you can sit back and watch them try to figure it out, one by one, until some loser is left dumbfounded. You can also fake a jump for the spoons and see who falls for it. You can also pay absolutely no attention to your cards and just watch for the first person to grab a spoon. When they do, all you have to do is make sure you're the second person to grab a spoon and you're safe. Come to think of it, strategy is the KEY to winning at Spoons.
So, yeah, Euchre may seem sophisticated, but that's just a myth - it's really just boring. And that's why I hate it.
Spoons, on the other hand - Spoons is a game I am totally on board with.
Check this out: Spoons on Youtube