Sunday, 30 December 2012

Hey! I have news!

Alright dear friends.  Here's the big news.

I'm not even going to make you wait.  I'm just going to come out and say it. 

I really don't like those people who say, "Hey! I have news!" and then ramble on for fifteen minutes about how they didn't know how to tell you, and would you like the good news or the bad news first. 

I mean, if you don't know how to tell me, then maybe you should have thought about it a little bit more before you brought it up, because now I'm just sitting here waiting while you find the perfect words to share news that - let's be honest - probably doesn't impact me in the slightest. 

And as for the good news/bad news question? What do YOU think? If you're really asking, I'd rather not hear the bad news at all.  Because who wants to hear bad news?  Unless it's just "bad" relative to the good news, but not really all that bad in its own right, well then I guess I wouldn't mind hearing it.  And I might like to hear it first because it might seem pretty decent until I hear the actual good news.  Whereas if you share the relatively "good" news first, then the relatively "bad" news is just wasted news because who cares about not-so-great news when compared to particularly-good-news?  No one.  No one cares about the "bad" news.  We all just want the good news.  So stop asking such a stupid question. 

What were we talking about?

Oh right. 

Hey! I have news!

I don't really know how to say this...

Well, do you want the good news or the bad news first?  I'm going to give you the good news first, and then validate it by adding my own personal flavour of cynicism. 

The Good News:

Right now, at this very moment, there is a very tiny being growing inside my body.  A human being.  I mean, it isn't an alien being or something.  Although from what I can tell, it does have a VERY large head. 

Yes, yes, my eggo is preggo.  Just over 3 months preggo, actually.  And I've been reluctantly keeping it from all of you (not to mention my closest friends and family) for WAY TOO LONG.  I don't know if you guys know me AT ALL, but I don't exactly keep secrets very well.  I'm a sharer.  Which may explain my difficulty in maintaining any regularity to my posts over the last couple of months...

Going along with the good news is all the excitement! Sharing this with Hubby. Laying in bed at night thinking about what it'll be like, if it's a boy or a girl, how I'll basically have my own little doll to dress up all the time! (kidding)

But.  There is bad news, and it is simply not like me to hold it in. 

The Bad News:

The bad news is that I've never had so many mixed feelings in my whole entire life.

The nausea that consumed me for 5 straight weeks.  The confusion of what this will mean to my life as I know it.  The overwhelming pressure of not telling people, and then, even worse, of telling people who don't necessarily understand how hard it can be to tell people.  The decision to blog or not to blog this very personal experience.  The utter dissatisfaction of decaf tea.  THE LOSS OF WINE.  The frustration of bigger boobs getting in the way of my arm-movement.  The worry that I'm not eating well enough.  The fear that I will have no idea how to take care of this thing once it comes out, let alone while it's in there.  The constant fucking panic that any little twinge is a sign of something going horribly wrong. 

This is a big deal, you guys.  Some days, hours, minutes I am truly so excited and looking forward to every little bit.  Other days, hours, minutes, I just don't know what to do with myself. 


So, my own personal reality of pregnancy and parenthood is soon to be revealed.  I've even been keeping a "what I would tweet if the biggest thing in my life wasn't a giant secret" diary to share with y'all over the next few posts.  Buckle in. 

PS
For those of you who learned this ahead of time, consider this your official authorization to share the news with others!  I know the few days of secrecy has been HELL for you, but we do appreciate it.  In fact, maybe even direct curious people here, since this is where the whole truth comes straight from the pregnant horse's mouth.  So to speak. 

30 comments:

  1. OK, aside from the FUCK YEA!! reaction to the overall, a few key pieces: 1) They will be your doll and why the eff not? 2) My two fetuses (?) survived on burgers and poutine; as my ob-gyn told me - they're parasites, they get what they need (need her #?), and 3) you two are going to kick parenting ass!!! Woohooo!! xo LB

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    1. 1) Thank god you understand me because I totally wasn't kidding. 2) It's good news because your two feti (?) are adorable. 3) It's debatable, but I like to think so, yes!

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  2. Aunt v from Toronto has already told everyone I know here! Conveniently, none of them know you and so (a) couldn't ruin this surprise, but (2) still sendtheir congrats cause I told them how important you are to me and therefore to them through me! So, practically all of Toronto cheering for you, hubby, and baby :) Realize this doesn't likely make a huge difference but just my little way of saying I'm here for you and have access to reinforcements if we need them ;) Looking forward to reading your insightful thoughts on this new journey, M. You got this! xoxo

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    1. You're a terrible secret keeper! Reinforcements will be needed, and I'm glad to have them!

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  3. That's awesome! For what it's worth, I was an anxious mess during my entire first pregnancy. Between the hormones and it being such a new experience, I think it's only normal to have a certain amount of anxiety. Hang in there. Things will all work out. So happy for you!!!

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    1. Well hello there precious! i am starting to think the hormones are a major player, because I'm totally not normally this eratic. (sarcasm of course). Thanks!

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  4. I would just like to make it known that I knew and I told everyone. My bad.

    SOOOO EXCITED FOR YOU! Xo

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    1. I HAD TO KEEP THE SECRET BUT NOBODY ELSE DID. Wtf?

      Thanks :)

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  5. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I have this weird 6th sense, either that or I know your writing, when I read the title I thought "I wish some one was here or cared enough for me to bet them money that She's preggers" and you are! And it's Great!
    Don't worry, worrying is about as effective as trying to solve algebra by chewing gum, and God though we wished it worked that way it doesn't. Just chill and enjoy this new part of life and all the suck and glory that will comes with it.

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    1. i totally wish I could solve difficuly problems by chewing bubble gum. I'd choose watermelon bubblicious. Chilling is easier said than done, but I'll try not to panic daily. Yaaaay!

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  6. OMG, I'm crying because I'm so happy for you. It's normal to worry about every little thing. You'll worry about things you've never even imagined before. But here's the secret. It all somehow balances out once the baby comes. Yes, the worry will always be there but you'll be too busy cursing at that little shit, Caillou, when I mail you the dvd set for your little one. ;)

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    1. Oh I hoep so. Thanks dear. :)

      DON'T YOU DARE.

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  7. OMG SPARE HER THE CAILLOU!!!!!!!!!

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  8. So excited and happy for you! (and a teeny bit jealous)

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  9. Just breathe.
    Used to be that you could smoke, drink and all that stuff when you were pg. Kinda sad things have changed.
    One thing remains the same. No one knows thing 1 about dealing with a baby. We learn along the way. On the plus side....while you will not get an instruction manuel, you will be blessed with Mommy Powers. Use them. Trust them.

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    1. Ah yes. Mommy Powers. I need me some of them things.

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  10. Elle send the Caillou! and then, when he/she is old enough I will send a video telling your child how to work Netflix so they can make you watch all 6 seasons of Spongebob all day long and your eyes will bleed and your head will feel like it will explode.


    Congrats Sweets!!!

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  11. Congratulations! Being pregnant is awesome and terrifying at the same time. You will do great when the baby is born!

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    1. Well, ill at least be good. Not sure about great.
      Thanks :)

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  12. Congratulations! That is very exciting!
    Devan

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  13. This "auntie" in Iowa is beyond happy for you two, as you know....
    XOXO

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  14. Oh. My .gawd!!!!!!!!!!!! This is totally awesome news, I'm really happy and very excited for you! You're growing your own little monster, yippee!! Dressing them up is worth the nine months of peeing constantly, nausea, hemorrhoids, awful greasy hair, and super tender boobs. I put a bowtie on my youngest monster nearly every day and don't give a crap if he doesn't like it (he will be a hipster dammit!)

    All joking aside, after the first trimester being pregnant isn't so bad and gets even cooler when you can watch the little peanut move around <3 I think you will be a great mom, you'll be surprised how naturally things will come to you :) a baby will turn your world upside down but it the best way, seriously, you'll be all "this is awesome! Why didn't I do this sooner" I suffer from major anxiety and am constantly worrying about everything related to my kids but I find the strength to fight thru it and love being a mom! If I can manage to not go batshit crazy with three kids (and currently going for #4) then I think you'll do just fine with your 1 little snappy surprise ;)

    Best wishes!! [sorry it's another long comment]

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    1. A bow tie. That's adorable. Oh, I cannot wait for the moving. I could, in theory, feel it any day, but they say I probably won't notice for a while yet. Going on 4?! Good god.

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