Saturday, 5 March 2011

News flash: I'm a lazy f-ck

As a kid, how smart were you?

Maybe you were "smart".  Or maybe you didn't "fit the mould".  Or maybe you just "didn't care enough".

And why do you think that is?

Ms. Betty Fokker drew my attention to this interesting tidbit.

Apparently smartie-pant fifth-grade girls, compared to the boys they chase around the jungle-gym, are more likely to bail on their book learnin' if it's outside their comfort zone - if it doesn't come easily.
Bright Girls, when given something to learn that was particularly foreign or complex, were quick to give up; the higher the girls' IQ, the more likely they were to throw in the towel.

Bright boys, on the other hand, saw the difficult material as a challenge, and found it energizing. They were more likely to redouble their efforts rather than give up.

Bright Girls were much quicker to doubt their ability, to lose confidence and to become less effective learners as a result.

Bright Girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice.

But I'm sure there's more to it than that.

I think different kids are encouraged in different ways - or not - which shapes their entire educational careers, as measured by the standard A,B,C,D,F conceptual grading curve.

I was one of the “smart” kids, so my bright little girl brain was nurtured.  I was accepted into the “Challenge Program”.  I was invited to “Leadership Camp”.  I was asked to edit the yearbook.  I was encouraged to “fast-track” through high school.  And so on.

And yet, if my grades weren’t As (which was rare), teachers wanted me to re-take courses (!) because they thought my B+ (bestowed upon me by a power-hungry douche canoe) wouldn’t cut it on my university apps.

Meanwhile, Hubby, (who went to school with me since grade five - insert "ah, cute" here), is so smart in so many outside-the-prescribed-learning-box ways that were NOT nurtured by our oh-so-wise educators.  He was not invited to special events.  He was praised by teachers for a B (on the same essay for which I may have failed, because the expectations on him were for some unknown reason lower).

And now?  Hubby can accomplish anything he sets his mind to.  Running his own business.  Mastering a song on the guitar.  Learning how to make the perfect sushi.

And me?  I won’t even try a single thing that doesn’t come easily.  I nearly toss my cookies at the thought of using Hubby's power tools, or learning a chord on his guitar, or making one damn role of his finicky sushi.

So what's the point? 

I'm glad I was one of the so-called "smart" kids.  I'm glad I got "good" grades and went to a "good" university.

But at the end of the day, I'm still just a lazy f-ck.  Tell me something I don't know. 



  1. This was such an interesting post, and I can totally relate. Like you, I was "smart" but gave up quickly when something was too hard. Honestly, it was because I was too proud to ask for help. Husband, however, is pretty much a rock star at anything he puts his mind to. His downfall as a student was that, if he wasn't interested he just didn't bother to try and would end up failing (albeit he wouldn't even care that he failed.) Anyhow, reading this was like looking into a Canadian mirror (hope that isn't offensive - I mean it in the best way possible) Thanks!

  2. Not offensive in the least! Unless you meant one of those funhouse mirrors... which I don't think you did. :)

    Glad you liked it. I thought it was so interesting how the male vs female conditioning starts so early and in so many areas of our lives. Fascinating, EH?