Sunday, 8 May 2011

I love the smell of rotting hair

"Girls are disgusting."

Hubby said that.  And he wasn't even 7 years old at the time. 

He said it this afternoon when he was hunched over my bathtub with his plumbing snake trying to unclog my drain. 

It's been getting worse for a while.  Every time I shower, the soapy water starts to collect up to my ankles.  So I've been asking him to deal with it for weeks.  He always vows he'll never do it, but I always know I can talk him into it.  I'm convincing like that. 

Well, he ended up pulling THE most repulsive wad of goopy smelly hair out of the depths of my tub, and proceeded to hastily exit the room while gagging/cursing. 

It was pretty gross. 

And while the first snaking process pulled out what one would think was the problem (the giant slimy hairball), the clog only seemed to get worse

So Hubby tried to snake the drain again and again, splattering vomit-inducing slop all over the bathroom. 

He wasn't happy.  And even though I opened the window for him - you know, to disperse the stench of rotting hair - his mood didn't seem to improve.  Go figure. 

Who can blame him, really?  With years and years of soap, and bubblebath, and shampoo, and conditioner, and every other female body product known to humanity, trapped in the pipe?  Yummy

So out came the plunger.  But the gross tub water still didn't drain.  So we poured a shit-ton of vinegar down there (trying to avoid cancer chemicals like Draino) and we're letting it stew for the day. 

Which meant I had to shower in Hubby's bathroom. 

(Yes, we have separate bathrooms.  It's what I call a "marriage saver", like a King-size bed, or oversize blankets, or an automatic pet feeder, or living in different countries.  It means that we don't argue about bathroom cleanliness, or shower-shelf space, or stubble in the sink.  And it works like a charm.)

So, sure, he had to endure my disgusting hair wad.  But I had to endure his slimy shower curtain hanging loose off all but 5 shower hooks. 

Call it even. 

_

9 comments:

  1. I was about to eat lunch but I guess I don't need to eat now. ;) My husband and I have seperate bathrooms too or else I'd probably kill him. There are times when I go in there to wash my hands since it's closest to my little girl's room but when I walk into his bathroom, it feels like I'm entering some scary movie set complete with the Psycho shower scene music.

    His hair stubble is all over the sink, his toothbrush holder is crusty, and omg what is that smell that all men seem to have in their bathrooms? Pee and sweat maybe.

    Then after I wash my hands, I have second thoughts about wiping them on his stinky hand towel that he probably hasn't changed in months and is just a few days away from growing legs and walking out of there so I have to run to my bathroom anyway to wash my hands all over again. Hand washing can be exhausting.

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  2. "or living in different countries"

    Priceless

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  3. OMG Elle! I know! It's just like that, isn't it?! The only reason Hubby cleans his bathroom is that when we have guests it becomes the guest bathroom, so he has to. i wiped the floor in there the other day and I can't even talk about what came up. *gag*

    Carm - :)

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  4. My tub keeps doing the same damn thing and it's really pissing me off. I know it's trying to rot my feet off but I'm determined it won't win. I will attack it with a blow torch if necessary.

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  5. Hmmmm....we too have issues with hair clogging the drains. Obviously it was mine, as Husband cut off his rock-star ponytail YEARS ago. But now that Preschooler has hair down to her butt, I determined that the most recent clog was made up entirely of HER hair .... and Husband AGREED. So it seems like I'm off the hook for now.

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  6. Ha! I've seen that gigantic wad of rotting hair! And the longer my hair gets, the bigger the gross factor. Oh well...at least we're not the ones who have to get it out.

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  7. I shed like a German Shepard or something every time I shower and have to clean the wad of hair around the drain TWICE per shower and then I throw it on the side of the tub, sometimes forgetting to throw it in the garbage can! I know, right?!! Seriously, I live like a 19 year old college student. If I had a husband, he would stay repulsed. Wait...what?

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  8. Handflapper - Blow torch is genuis. I say go with that.


    Angela - So what you're saying is that I should get a daughter to blame shit on? I like that idea.

    jacqui - lol Hubby did not like that comment! "Screw that!" he said. LOL

    Laura - Omg I do that too! Except I pull it right out of my head and then plaster it on the side of the shower. I'm not gonna lie - it often lives there for a while. Separate bathrooms...

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