Thursday, 30 December 2010
21st Century Revival
You may recall that Hubby and I were recently dismayed by the fact that we've lost the television remote. Not that we don't have three other remotes, but that this one is required in order to ensure that whatever we're watching is stretched to the right screen size - wide or square, short or long, zoomed in or out.
And holy shit - he found it. "I just had an effing revelation" he claimed.
The whole recovery started when last night I asked him to go online and find out how much a new one would cost. 40 friggin bucks, apparently.
"I'm telling you - it's in that couch" he said.
"No, I checked the couch a hundred times, inside and out, under and behind cushions, behind the lining. It' not in the couch" I replied.
"I'm telling you, it has to be."
"No way. You definitely picked it up with your phone or something and put it down somewhere else in the house. You just did that last week!"
I had him there. Last weekend he came upstairs and brought his phone, its charger, and the basement tv remote with him into the kitchen.
But he wouldn't let it go. This morning he repeated his hunch: "It's in that damn couch."
"Nope."
Well, he proceeded to pull out the couch from the wall and dive in behind it. I ignored him. He dug around back there for a while and then his head popped up from between the wall and the sofa.
"Oh my god, com'ere!" he said.
"No way. You're kidding."
When I refused to get up from my comfy chair, he explained how he "just knew it" - he just "had a feeling". He explained how when you reach behind the pillows into the lining, you think you've gone as far as you can, but there is apparently a lining behind the lining - and Hubby was apparently smart enough to know that.
He jumped up from behind the couch, arm out-stretched in the air, remote in hand.
Ahh, sweet redemption.
The obligatory victory dance and crazy laughter followed, and he is, as we speak, singing up a storm in the shower.
Ok, so, Hubby: 1; Wifey: 3,226,517.
_
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
What's the 411?
I heard some interesting news stories recently, and as part of my goal to inform and enlighten, I’ve summarized them here (with some editorial comments, of course) for your reading pleasure.
The British government officially recognized the iconic Abbey Road crosswalk as a national treasure.
Finally, a government makes a good decision. After years of tourists taking their shoes off and arguing over who gets to be Lennon, this new designation means that the crossing can only be altered with the approval of local authorities, who must consider the historic significance. I just hope the “local authorities” are put through a rigorous screening process. We wouldn’t want just anyone making these decisions. How can we trust them to “consider the historic significance” with the appropriate vigor? This isn’t some stupid old church or castle – this is the Abbey Road Crossing, for godsake.
Apparently, ballerinas should cut back on the sugar plums.
That’s nice, eh? A New York Times reviewer “critiqued” the Nutcracker’s Sugar Plum Fairy ballerina for her weight. The ballerina, as many others, has struggled with eating disorders, and some smartass pompous asshole critic said she "looked as if she'd eaten one sugar plum too many." What a joke. In fact, I think the friggin Sugar. Plum. Fairy. should actually be chubby – it would be more realistic. And if he wants to critique the show, fine, but critiquing the show and passing personal judgments on the performers are different things. Who does this guy think he is? Well, I Googled him, and it turns out that he does seem pretty effing stuck up.
Avatar was the most pirated film of 2010.
That’s hilarious. Not only does Avatar make the most money in theatres, but it encourages a proportional amount of on-line theft. The 3D film, which James Cameron devoted 10 years to making (loser) was apparently downloaded 16.6 million times. Cameron hoped that 3D filmmaking would combat piracy by persuading more people to see the film in theatres, but Avatar was downloaded 33% more than last year's most pirated film (Star Trek). Well, that’s what you get Mr. Hot Shot. I haven’t seen it, and I don’t intend to. Much like Lord of the Rings, I am stubbornly resistant to all the hype.
George W's memoir has sold more than 2 million copies.
Who is buying this shit? “Decision Points” was released in November and surpassed the two million sales mark shortly afterward. Bush was paid $7 million to write about 9/11, his Afghanistan and Iraq war decisions, and his response to Hurricane Katrina – as well as his resolve to stop drinking. Sarah Palin's 2009 memoir, “Going Rogue”, sold 2.2 million copies. I can only hope that people read this stuff for a laugh – or perhaps out of pure fascination – because if they are reading it to get insight into these two idiot’s minds, they’d better look elsewhere. I bet their day-to-day interviews and speeches are far more revealing.
_
The British government officially recognized the iconic Abbey Road crosswalk as a national treasure.
Finally, a government makes a good decision. After years of tourists taking their shoes off and arguing over who gets to be Lennon, this new designation means that the crossing can only be altered with the approval of local authorities, who must consider the historic significance. I just hope the “local authorities” are put through a rigorous screening process. We wouldn’t want just anyone making these decisions. How can we trust them to “consider the historic significance” with the appropriate vigor? This isn’t some stupid old church or castle – this is the Abbey Road Crossing, for godsake.
Apparently, ballerinas should cut back on the sugar plums.
That’s nice, eh? A New York Times reviewer “critiqued” the Nutcracker’s Sugar Plum Fairy ballerina for her weight. The ballerina, as many others, has struggled with eating disorders, and some smartass pompous asshole critic said she "looked as if she'd eaten one sugar plum too many." What a joke. In fact, I think the friggin Sugar. Plum. Fairy. should actually be chubby – it would be more realistic. And if he wants to critique the show, fine, but critiquing the show and passing personal judgments on the performers are different things. Who does this guy think he is? Well, I Googled him, and it turns out that he does seem pretty effing stuck up.
Avatar was the most pirated film of 2010.
That’s hilarious. Not only does Avatar make the most money in theatres, but it encourages a proportional amount of on-line theft. The 3D film, which James Cameron devoted 10 years to making (loser) was apparently downloaded 16.6 million times. Cameron hoped that 3D filmmaking would combat piracy by persuading more people to see the film in theatres, but Avatar was downloaded 33% more than last year's most pirated film (Star Trek). Well, that’s what you get Mr. Hot Shot. I haven’t seen it, and I don’t intend to. Much like Lord of the Rings, I am stubbornly resistant to all the hype.
George W's memoir has sold more than 2 million copies.
Who is buying this shit? “Decision Points” was released in November and surpassed the two million sales mark shortly afterward. Bush was paid $7 million to write about 9/11, his Afghanistan and Iraq war decisions, and his response to Hurricane Katrina – as well as his resolve to stop drinking. Sarah Palin's 2009 memoir, “Going Rogue”, sold 2.2 million copies. I can only hope that people read this stuff for a laugh – or perhaps out of pure fascination – because if they are reading it to get insight into these two idiot’s minds, they’d better look elsewhere. I bet their day-to-day interviews and speeches are far more revealing.
_
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