Continuing on from earlier...
Ok, so Kirk Douglas is hilarious. You gotta YouTube that shit, man. He's messing with them! Cute.
Ah! She cursed! The best supporting actress. The older lady from The Fighter! They bleeped it, but that's ok.
Alright, one for The Social Network - Adapted Screenplay. And one for the King's Speech - Original Screenplay. Let the battle begin.
Russel Brand is coming up next! In case you didn't already know, he's my most recent favourite person.
Oh wow. I was thinking "Anne Hathaway is a super pain in my ass, but she looks cute in that tux". But if the trade-off for seeing Anne Hathaway's cute tux is James Franco in a pink gown and blonde wig, it ain't worth it.
LOVE Russel Brand's translation from French. And Helen Mirren is as gorgeous as ever. Even if she did butcher the French language.
Hubby says Reese Witherspoon is "flawless". Damn it. I have to agree.
Christian Bale or Jeffrey Rush?? Quick! Pick one! CB. Yeah! Good call on my part. Oh, there's that surprise messy British accent again.
OK, channel surfing. Comedy Network. Why is Bob Saget on the Comedy Network? And why is saying the word "dick". Maybe the Oscars aren't as bad as I thought.
I think Best Original Score will go to The Social Network. Wait and see... Oh, wait, Inception's tune is pretty cool too. And, the Oscar goes to... ... Right again! Maybe I should have put a toonie in afterall.
Does anyone even know the effing difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing? No way. There is no difference. Here comes the sound of me changing the channel again.
Have you ever watched 'A Minute To Win It'? That little kid is never going to bounce a quarter off a table into a giant water jug across the room. Even for a million bucks. It's impossible. Three, two, one. No dice. Told ya.
K, back to Oscar.
Hubby and I really can't figure out why in hell James Franco is hosting this stupid show. At least Anne can articulate. What a piss-off.
Time to go upstairs. More to come tomorrow, I suppose.
_
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Live Oscar Blogging - can't go wrong
Ok, so, against our better judgement, we're watching the Oscars. Not necessarily because we want to. More because we got sucked in.
Most years we watch religiously with a nominees ballot and a toonie on the line. Not tonight. Tonight, there will be channel surfing. Tonight, there will be intermittent laundry. Tonight, there will be the option of going to bed whenever the eff we want.
However, there will also be minute-by-minute commentary from your Oscar expert - me.
OK. Here we go.
It's about 6:00, and the stupid red carpet has already been going for hours. It's not even red. It's pink.
Ok, here's Mila what's'ername. From Black Swan. More importantly, from That 70s Show. What happened to her squeaky voice? She's so scratchy and sexy now.
Oh, Helen Miren. She's gorgeous. I love her. I hope I look that good when I'm 113 years old.
Donald Trump?! What the Hell is he doing there? Money. Because he has a lot of money. What a dink. I hope he lost a bunch of his dough in the recession. He could stand to.
OK, it's 8:00! Time for the show to start!
What?! There's still another half an hour?! Of course there is. F-ck.
James Franco is talking to the interviewer. What a douche elbow. How is he hosting? He can barely form a coherent sentence. Decent actor I guess, but that doesn't excuse it.
Christian Bale. What the eff. I always forget he's British - or Australian - or whatever. And Hubby would like to know what's up with the red-headed-step-child beard.
Finally. It's starting.
Ok, so James Fraco should so not be wearing a tighty-whitey ballerina leotard.
Oh! I love Morgan Freeman.
Ew. Anne Hathaway. Hubby says she looks like an anteater. And what's with the crazy fake eyelashes? She looks like tranny raccoon.
James Franco's grandmother is there. Hubby wants to know why everyone always claps for old people. But Grandma is excited to meet Marky Mark. I would be too.
Titanic! Oh, Leo, my heart WILL go on.
Ok, first commercial. Stay tuned.
_
Most years we watch religiously with a nominees ballot and a toonie on the line. Not tonight. Tonight, there will be channel surfing. Tonight, there will be intermittent laundry. Tonight, there will be the option of going to bed whenever the eff we want.
However, there will also be minute-by-minute commentary from your Oscar expert - me.
OK. Here we go.
It's about 6:00, and the stupid red carpet has already been going for hours. It's not even red. It's pink.
Ok, here's Mila what's'ername. From Black Swan. More importantly, from That 70s Show. What happened to her squeaky voice? She's so scratchy and sexy now.
Oh, Helen Miren. She's gorgeous. I love her. I hope I look that good when I'm 113 years old.
Donald Trump?! What the Hell is he doing there? Money. Because he has a lot of money. What a dink. I hope he lost a bunch of his dough in the recession. He could stand to.
OK, it's 8:00! Time for the show to start!
What?! There's still another half an hour?! Of course there is. F-ck.
James Franco is talking to the interviewer. What a douche elbow. How is he hosting? He can barely form a coherent sentence. Decent actor I guess, but that doesn't excuse it.
Christian Bale. What the eff. I always forget he's British - or Australian - or whatever. And Hubby would like to know what's up with the red-headed-step-child beard.
Finally. It's starting.
Ok, so James Fraco should so not be wearing a tighty-whitey ballerina leotard.
Oh! I love Morgan Freeman.
Ew. Anne Hathaway. Hubby says she looks like an anteater. And what's with the crazy fake eyelashes? She looks like tranny raccoon.
James Franco's grandmother is there. Hubby wants to know why everyone always claps for old people. But Grandma is excited to meet Marky Mark. I would be too.
Titanic! Oh, Leo, my heart WILL go on.
Ok, first commercial. Stay tuned.
_
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